Yo, this jawn is hilarious.

Finally, we get Maddy on a podcast, along with her friend Sydney, and they’re absolutely hilarious.  Them jawns was killing it, if you know what I’m saying. (#squadgoals)

Oh, you don’t.

Urban Dictionary’s top definition of “Jawn” states: Jawn is a word used by Philly cats to describe anything and everything. NY cats interject with the word “joint” but it doesn’t convey the same feelings.  Here are the example phrases, offered by “Jay Sticky (ooowee!!),” with inconsistent punctuation, vernacular, and big words included:

you see that car? that jawn was hot.
you was at Keisha’s jawn last night?
when them planes flew into that jawn, it exploded!!
you heard that new jawn by B.Seigs & Freeway?
i hit this one jawn in my trunk, nigga!!
nah, i was at the jawn when she came by.

As is always the case with Urban Dictionary, the additional definitions and examples illuminate the “word” in question and bring non sequitur and sidesplitting humor.  So…

Jawn, definition 3, offered by the quaintly monikered “eatshitniggahh”: A word used in Philadelphia to describe any noun whose appropriate word could not be recalled by the brain in the necessary time. You can tell the general education level of the user of said word by how many times they use it in a sentence.

And the example? yo i went to that jawn down at the plat, yo there were like 6 jawns down there man you shoulda whipped out the ’97 jawn picked up a couple jawns and came down, pussy

Jawn, definition 5, with example, from the rather mundane but incredibly succinct and ultimately amusing “jhani”: Any person place or thing. (Actual quote…. ” i put my jawn in the jawn, and some jawn took that jawn, and now my jawn is gone”)

So…jawn.

We start with the jawns.  Uhh…beers.

First, we had Lagunitas Bitter Oats.  Big, delicious, bitter, and full bodied.  That jawn was outstanding.

Next, a take on the half-and-half using Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout and Lindemann’s Frambois.  Quite delicious.  (I think we’ve found the key to Jen’s adoration of stouts, which is to create beer combinations with Belgian fruit ales.)

We continue with Maddy inadvertently teaching Greg the urban youth term that he will pile drive into your ears as he’s already jackhammered into your consciousness.  This jawn is most certainly on fleek.

Here we experience Jen, Maddy, and Sydney all messing with Greg like a cirque du soleil of relentless sarcasm.  Go ahead, name that show!  (Circque du sarcasme presents: Relentless)

Here Jen gets her driver’s licence back, opens a gift of fancy-ass rooster moccaloshes.  (Or would it be golaccasins?)

Here Maddy proves she’s super ghetto with her grocery request.

And we close with tortoise genitalia, or the lack there of.

Oh…the music.  The intro music is by an artist named Jon Chan who goes by the name, and I shit you not, JAWN.  This is his beautiful song, “Fade to Black.”  (And as Jon indicates in the description, “Thisjawn is not a metallica tribute.”) [The italicized lingo is obviously added]

The outro is, “Summertime” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.  Why?  As if that question is even necessary.  But here’s why.  Them boys is from Philly, that jawn is still smokin’ hot 25 years later(…that’s right, let it sink in…”Summertime” dropped in 1991…), and on a day like today, in the midst of Winter storm Jonas Brothers, don’t you wish it was Summertime right about now?  Burnin’ up and shit as you Escape with your Caribbean Queen, drinking something withlime and coconut?  Taking in the evening Summer Breeze? Hot fun in the Summertime, sailing with your easy lover as you see theSouthern Cross for the first time?  I wish.

Have fun…we present to you, “This Jawn’s On Fleek.”

  #squadgoals