Have you ever been in a small group discussion that was more awkward than awesome? You look around and see silence, rambling, confusion, and irritation. Maybe you’ve been the one leading and wondered what went wrong. Consider these pitfalls that can make even the best of Bible studies less than they were intended to be.

1. Neglecting to prepare adequately

Jesus taught that “A disciple is not above his teacher” (Matthew 10:24). Over time, the people in a group sense whether a leader is winging it or has done the work to prepare. Before people arrive, you need to ensure that you understand the questions and can respond to them yourself. You also need to anticipate which questions may cause problems or need to be rephrased. Don’t wait until the discussion to figure this out.

2. Lecturing instead of listening

People who make the time for a small group have already heard a sermon—and they don’t usually want to hear another one in the group. A good leader prepares well but then listens to hear others articulate the truths of Scripture. Some responses will need to be followed up for clarity while others may need to be reshaped by saying, “I think what you’re getting at is …” Often the truth of God’s Word will surface as you seek multiple responses. Listening well means being curious, asking follow-up questions, and expressing affirmation, delight, or surprise at what you hear.

3. Avoiding your own vulnerability

The group will usually only be as vulnerable as the leader. If you are cool and impersonal, others will learn that’s what’s expected. While you don’t want to dominate the conversation, look for opportunities to share how the Scripture intersects with your life. As you share your struggles and joys, it gives room for others in the group to do the same.

4. Being too rigid with the plan

Having a plan for your small group discussion is critical. And if you regularly abandon the plan for tangents that the whole group isn’t excited about, you’ll soon begin to lose them. But the questions you prepare are a guide, not a checklist. Allow some flexibility as you lead and give yourself permission to respond to questions that arise. And if it’s a discussion that you’re seeking, don’t sound like you’re reading out exam questions.

5. Failing to address problems

Every group has issues that come up—group members are looking to the leader to address them graciously and wisely. It could be a disruptive member or a person who talks too much. People can be rude or dismissive of others’ opinions. For instance, if someone interrupts repeatedly, address it privately. Even if the problems don’t bother you personally, if they affect the group, they’re your responsibility.

6. Under-committing to the role

Commitment in a group is energizing. When people prioritize their fellowship with one another, it sends the message that the group is important—and that people matter to one another. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true. Nobody wants to feel like an afterthought. Nothing stirs commitment in a group more than a leader’s own passion. When a leader arrives late, leaves early, cancels frequently, and allows other things to take priority over the thriving of the small group, the lack of commitment spreads throughout the group. If you’re going to be in, go all in!

There are things in every group that are beyond your control. But by focusing on the problems that you can change, you can turn your group into the best version of itself. Consider these six pitfalls in your own leadership—better yet, ask someone else what you need to work on—and ask God to give you grace to grow into the leader your group needs.

In awe of Him,

Paul