The degree of lack of love within ourselves is to the same degree that we'll experience a lack of love in our relationships.  We can feel lost and confused as to why life is keeping something we deeply desire and feel we deserve. Often people end up feeling like there's something wrong with them because they're still single. Only the vulnerability of personal responsibility can help us see clearly how we are (unconsciously) contributing to our inner experience of lack. This naturally results in closing the gap between us and what we already have access to that we didn't see before.