Summary

In this episode of Beyond the Norm, I explore the concept of people pleasing, its roots, and practical strategies to overcome it.

I discuss the systemic influences that contribute to people pleasing behaviours, including family dynamics and societal expectations. The episode emphasises the importance of self-awareness, setting boundaries, and prioritising personal needs to foster authenticity and emotional well-being. I encourage you to embrace discomfort as part of the growth process and to seek support through coaching and self-reflection.

Takeaways

• People pleasing often stems from a desire for acceptance and belonging.
• Awareness is the first step in addressing people pleasing behaviors.
• Family dynamics play a significant role in shaping people pleasing tendencies.
• Setting boundaries is essential for personal well-being.
• Disappointing others can be a necessary part of self-care.
• Understanding personal values can help in making decisions that align with one's true self.
• Practicing saying 'no' is crucial for breaking the cycle of people pleasing.
• It's important to recognise the emotional cost of people pleasing.
• Change is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion.
• Systemic coaching can provide valuable insights and support in overcoming people pleasing.

Chapters;

00:00 Introduction to People Pleasing

00:29 Understanding the Roots of People Pleasing

01:27 Supportive Resources and Personal Connection

01:49 artsEntertainment-intro-low-short.wav

02:09 Understanding People Pleasing

05:20 The Roots of People Pleasing

08:08 Family Dynamics and Roles

10:56 Fear of Exclusion and Belonging

14:03 Rules of Belonging

16:59 Conflict Avoidance and Perfectionism

20:18 Practical Tools to Stop People Pleasing

29:05 The Power of Saying No

32:25 Disappointing Others: A Necessary Step

36:23 Letting Go of the 'Good One' Identity

41:44 Identifying and Upholding Personal Values

43:39 Setting Boundaries and Enforcing Them

48:20 Embracing Resistance and Personal Growth

READ the BLOG that pairs with this episode https://www.normaokelly.com/blogbeyondthenorm/stoppeoplepleasingunlearn

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