It can be really, really difficult to be a childfree person whose friends are all becoming parents.

In my episode “Coping with losing friends to parenting,” I talk about my belief that friendships rooted in mutual respect and commitment can endure when one person has a baby, but I also acknowledge that many friendships don’t endure. Ultimately, if you expect too much from your friends when they become parents, you will be let down.

This episode is about adjusting your expectations of your parent friends. I say “adjust” rather than “lower” because they aren’t necessarily lower, they’re just better suited to the reality of the situation that you’re trying to cope with. Changing your thoughts to a position of positivity and empowerment when going through this exercise is everything: setting your own, reasonable expectations is more about preserving your own peace and sanity than it is about holding others to a defined standard.

Six ways you can adjust your expectations include:

1. Expect to flex
2. Expect to be a lower priority
3. Expect the friendship to change
4. Expect to be annoyed
5. Expect to be and/or feel left out
6. Expect to make new friends