Nick experienced childhood sexual abuse that began when he was around five years old by his first best friend. This was a case of peer-on-peer sexual abuse, a form of childhood sexual assault that is often misunderstood, minimized, or overlooked despite its long-term psychological impact. At that age, he did not have the developmental ability to consent, understand, or stop what was happening, while fear, confusion, and secrecy became his primary survival responses. What occurred was not experimentation, but abuse, shaped by power, confusion, and trust violations that a child cannot navigate.

As he grew older, the unresolved effects of childhood sexual abuse surfaced through anger, addiction, and struggles with trust and identity. Living with a lifelong degenerative hearing loss and tinnitus added another layer of isolation and difference during critical developmental years. Healing did not begin until adulthood, when sobriety, therapy, and accountability allowed him to accurately name what happened and confront its impact without allowing it to define him. By speaking openly, he helps illuminate how early sexual trauma and unaddressed disability can shape a life, and how breaking secrecy can be a meaningful step toward reclaiming agency.

Nick’s Links:

https://linktr.ee/nickmiddaugh

www.nickmiddaugh.com

Character Is Destiny

nickmiddaugh.substack.com

Nick’s essay he read an excerpt from:

https://open.substack.com/pub/nickmiddaugh/p/005-violation-the-forge-opens?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

Beyond the Monsters’ Socials:

https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters/

https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters

Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.

Topics: childhood sexual abuse (CSA), addiction & alcoholism, mental health, degenerative hearing loss & tinnitus

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