***IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL TALKS ABOUT...***

Breaking up with gender-fluid sparkling water for his true love - a Divine liquid from the Gods; Wishing he could de-windbag his middle-aged paunch; The most exclusive form of inclusivity; Getting busy doing nothing; Working with Slave-wife to cut back on the thousands of New Year’s resolutions he usually makes, successfully whittling them down to a manageable 732;

The many ways he and cockroaches are sympatico; The sticky situation that was this morning’s total disaster; How his continued divergence from the show’s OPD (Original Podcast Description) keeps the Podcast Board on his ass like a pimple

***IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, IN THIS EPISODE INTERNATIONAL ALSO...***

Gets listeners across the country fired by playing audio that’s NSFP (Not Suitable For Podcasts); Rocks the world of politics by proposing liberals should be less progressive and more Progresso - opening the door for Minestrone to unite humanity; Helps Olivia, the amnesiac Canadian, to recall the most important details of her life, such as having genitals; Falls woefully short of his 80% bodily-functions quotient, much to your disappointment; Tragically ruins his own story about free-diving for conch salad; Devotes several thrilling minutes to closing browser windows; Outsmarts the CAPTCHA gods and is granted access to a website he doesn’t even want to visit

***AND SO MUCH MORE, IT’S CRAZY!!!***