And now, the moment you've been waiting for: It's another Torment a Scammer episode!

First up, we have a Spectrum imposter. I give her the runaround by constantly changing my tune as to what cable company I subscribe to.

Next, we have a very revealing call from a guy who admits I'm not "the no call list". I HIGHLY doubt he's referring to the American Do Not Call Registry. Far be it from them to respect that. Rather, I think it's an internal list where scammers keep track of guys like me who waste their time.

Later on is a pain relief scammer. I keep her busy by telling her all the ailments in my body.

Finally, a Medicare scammer who wants to know the name of my doctor. I spend about 16 minutes spelling the name GUIDO SARDUCCI while he struggles with it. (Some of you will remember that character from SNL!) I then read off all of the membership cards in my desk, including my grocery bonus card, my hotel rewards club, and my Purina Puppy Chow membership card.

Thanks for telling your friends about the show, and buy my book for all of them!