Yesterday you heard a message about the divorce rate during Covid and the conflict that has ignited in marriages across the United States and probably across the globe. That message made me reflect on my own divorce and the scary decision to leave my first marriage. I remember feeling like there wasn’t a possibility that we could heal and repair the brokenness that we had handed each other in our short marriage. I do my best to talk constructively about my former spouse and the thing I know for sure about our marriage is that we were both wearing the tag “scorekeeper”.

We were so busy fighting about fighting and keeping track of each other’s offenses that we didn’t have time to get in the game and give our relationship a fair chance. Some people use the phrase, “we’re like oil and water”, referring to two substances that can’t mix together. Well, he and I were more like, “fire and gasoline”. We knew how to ignite each other in a way that I had never experienced before. Unfortunately, being a “scorekeeper” doesn’t leave you much latitude to recognize your contribution to the problems in the relationship. If you’re wearing the tag “scorekeeper”, I hope this episode resonates in your heart and allows you to look into your own self-awareness.

 

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Bee Evans