Was our good friend Tom Cruise forced from London by a smash-and-grab robbery, the relentless rain, or anti-Scientology villagers?

Matt and Mike take on an impossible mission: decoding the sourcing in a story that has enthralled the tabloid press.

In other news, we find that a Proud Boy punk plans to tour the UK later this month.

Plus practical updates: on Indefinite Leave to Remain, which banks actually accept American customers, and what are the British equivalents of Venmo, Craigslist and Depop? 

Finally, should the politics be confined to our theme tune? Let us know: [email protected]

Read more on the Misfit Proud Boy: https://thedayofreckoning.substack.com/p/exclusive-proud-boy-punk-who-was

And on Tom Cruise: https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/met-police-tom-cruise-knightsbridge-flat-rolex-robbery-london-b1269206.html