The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships

76: The Couples Communication Skills That Change Everything with Raffi Bilek


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Have you ever felt like you and your partner are speaking two completely different languages? You're trying so hard to explain your side, but the more you talk, the further apart you feel. It's incredibly lonely to feel unheard by the person who matters most to you. In this episode, I'm joined by Raffi Bilek, couples counselor and author of The Communication Book, to talk about why we get "stuck" in these cycles and how to finally start hearing each other again.

We talk about:

  • How to use "I" statements to stay the main character of your own story (without blaming).
  • Why "Empathy" doesn't have to mean "Agreement."
  • The "Drunk Brain" analogy—why you shouldn't try to resolve things when you're emotionally flooded.

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  • Take the 3-minute Relationship Clarity Quiz
  • Read the show notes for this episode here.
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The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military RelationshipsBy Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky: Military Marriage Counselor and Educator

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