‘There it is.’ I point to the blue that I love most. 

            ‘There what is?’

            ‘My favorite color.’

            Anna isn’t convinced. ‘No my horse, your favorite color is dark turquoise. This is just blue.’ 

            ‘Shhh.’ I demand, slapping her mouth with the palm of my hand. ‘Listen, the jackals are screaming again.’ She giggles. We’re alone in the woods, her and I. We weed precious trees on sacred land and run over rocky mountains tucked in sand. 

            ‘Holy crap! Look at this view!’ I’m jumping up and down, pulling on her long white skirt. Look at this display of dates, are we in heaven?’

            ‘Don’t be silly Emma; heaven is only what’s displayed before your eyes. The land is not entirely relevant. Love is heaven sent; the rest is just mettle and dust. Don’t make a fuss about silly shit. Just move toward love for love in love. Never give up on a love that hasn’t let you go. Let it hold until it’s thoroughly through with you. Then stuff it in your guts as a piece of your soul, only the parts you want to hold forever and never let go of. Then let go of the rest. There’s plenty of love to go around scaredy-cat. Don’t be so scared all the time. Just wait, the moon is about to rise again. Chase your tail if you must find a way to release all this insatiable energy inside. Just don’t forget that the sun comes right back up again, every single time. Look! It’s a brand new life. Look! Heaven and earth are the same word. Terra Nova. Be Bella if you’re feeling like my pony. Be Maggie when you wear your baggie jeans and your bad attitude. Breathe little Emma Sage. It’s a brand new world if you dream hard enough.’

            ‘Its so beautiful!’ I scream. ‘Will you call me Em for short? Will you take me everywhere you go and never stop calling me home.’

            ‘Don’t interrupt me.’ She demands. She insists that she takes the lead. I pretend like I’m fighting to decide, but secretly I prefer she decides for me. I’ll be as happy as a child in the wild light of dawn, to never know a single thing until it steps right in front of my face. I love to be dragged behind babe. 

            ‘Haven’t you heard? Haven’t I whined loud enough? Do you not hear the pleasure pouring from my lungs when I cry for you? When you left my face, were you so devilishly certain that I would always follow?’

            ‘Anna whips her long blonde German locks around to find me moping again. ‘Are you still talking to the sea?’

            ‘Yes.’

            ‘Are you still in love with…’

            ‘No! Shhh. Don’t say her name. Its not fare. I don’t share your might. I don’t forget the way the rest do. I remember everything.’

            ‘Do you still love P?’

            ‘Yes. But I’m starting to forget what she looked like. I forgot the sound of her remembering something she’d forgot. No, wait, I still remember that; I still remember taste and sound. I’ve just completely forgotten what her touch could’ve been tonight. I’m wrapped up in the future; it holds me tight when I can’t sleep. I think I know what’s going to happen; yet I’m still aching to find out. Do we free all the lost kids? Or must we watch them all die instead. I keep reading my stories backwards. Not needing to desire any other is starting to scare me to death.’

            ‘Is her voice still inside you?’

            ‘Still behind my pen, yes; still, between my fingers, I remember now. She felt like home. 

            ‘Then you’ve got nothing to fear my sweet stallion. Home must be everywhere you are. Look up. Remember. You are every single star in this wild night sky.’

            ‘But I need her by my side!’ I’m weeping now. Sobbing like a bratty baby.

            ‘Holy crap!’

            ‘What?’

            ‘Look inside! Every kid is starting to sing.’

            All the love left alive is screaming at the top of their lungs.

            ‘Lets cry together!’

            She reaches out for me.

            ‘I know its scary kitty Kat. But the fear isn’t real and you are never alone. Hang on tight. And whatever happens, don’t let go of my hand.’