Bloody Episode 78

‘Yasss or Passs: Blassst from the Passst!’

2nd half of March 2000 Edition 

As I lay on my bed, listening to the latest Backstreet Boys album ‘Millennium’ on my Sony Disc man (sorry, CD Walkman. I keep forgetting Sony changed the name last year), my Nokia 3210 vibrates. It’s an SMS text message from Dylan! ‘Hey bro, what’re you up to?’ it says. ‘Not much dude, just gearing up for the Olympics in Sydney this year!’ I respond. ‘Ah nice nice! I’m more excited for that new reality show ‘Big Brother’ to premiere in a couple of months!’ his next text reads. As I delay my response due to a very intense game of snake i’m playing on my cellular telephone I get a second SMS asking ‘Did you wanna head to the movies tonight?’. ‘HELL YEAH I DO! But what’s playing in the theaters?’ Well there’s only one way to find out…

 

MARCH 24TH

‘Here on Earth’ - Now this is what the cinema is made for! A romantic drama following three of Hollywood’s hottest talents! In this story we see a convoluted love triangle evolve between small town sweethearts Samantha and Jasper (Leelee Sobieski & Josh Hartnett) and pretty, rich, city boy Kelley (Chris Klein) when Kelley hits on Samantha. Jasper challenges the city boy to a drag race when BAM, they crash into and destroy the local diner. What punishment fits the crime? For them both to help rebuild the diner in lieu of jail time. Oh what a web you weave justice system! Through this misadventure, Kelley continues his pursuit of Samantha and Jasper ain’t having that shit! Blazing into theatres like a muscle car into a diner, March 24th.

‘Whatever it Takes’ - In a tale as old as time itself we see two high school students getting ready for prom, one a jock (James Franco) and the other the handsome nerd (Shane West). They both want the opposites when looking for a date, the Jock wants the pretty theatre girl and the handsome nerd wanting the hottest, lets be honest, dumbest girl in school. So how do they get the girls they seek? They do Whatever it takes! Meaning, they’re both going to give each other advice on how to obtain and impress the girls they want. BUT, are the girls they want really right for them? Cumming to theatres like an erection in a nerds wet dream, March 24.

 

 

MARCH 31ST

‘The Skulls’ - Holy Calamity Batman! One of Hollywood’s hottest talents and Star of the Mighty Ducks Franchise and the crazy popular Dawson’s Creek Joshua Jackson stars in this insanely tense action thriller about a secret underground society named ‘The Skulls’. In this society they can give you anything your heart desires from fast cars, money, girls and more power than you can handle. But one thing is for sure, if they can give you all of that, they can take it all away just as easy. And when Jackson discovers they are covering up murder, he fights to take down the society. With his buddy Up & Comer Paul Walker in tow, can he take them down before Shooter McGavin & Craig T Nelson takes him down? Crashing into theaters like a passenger side window being smashed in a high speed chase,

March 31st.  

‘The Road to El Dorado’ - Look out Disney, there’s a new king of animation in town! DreamWorks Animation brings us the new family fun film ‘The Road to El Dorado’! The story follows two ‘swindlers’ who manage to get their hands on a map to the fabled ‘lost city of gold’ and the film follows their journey as they get caught up in the expected hi-jinx of two people who are completely out of their depth! With an all star voice cast including Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Edward James Olmos, Tobin Bell and Narrated by none other than Elton John, how could this not be a smash hit?! Trotting it’s way in to theaters like a horse with golden Hooves, March 31st!

 

‘High Fidelity’ - John Cusack playing Rob, known for ‘Say Anything’, ‘Con Air’ and ‘The Thin Red Line’ leads the way in this star studded romantic comedy about a record store owner and part time Disc Jockey who while he may be a successful businessman, i