Alison and Alpine dissect the presidential contenders' meme dankness and overall entertainment value. Highlights include Jeb Bush's pathetic "please clap" (5:00), Dr. Ben Carson's soporific charm (11:00), the most apt Lord of the Rings metaphor for Hillary vs. Bernie (21:00), Ted Cruz's teen ambitions to be in a titty movie (25:00), John Kasich, Fruit Ninja (31:00), Marco Rubio's meteoric downfall (35:00), Bernie Sanders' Dank Meme Stash (41:30), and the phenomenon that is Donald Drumpf (49:30).