How does it feel to watch your dreams fade away? It's never a good feeling, but what if those dreams involve how many children to have or when to walk away and end your journey to conceive a child? Somehow, this dream cuts deeper than other dreams that may go unfulfilled in your life.

Dr. Maria Rothenburger is a fertility therapist and coach who has been through infertility challenges. Her doctoral research focused on post-traumatic growth as opposed to PTSD. Though she still practices as a psychotherapist, her passion has become fertility coaching, as she uses a four-pronged approach for movement toward optimal fertility.

Episode Highlights:

• How she and her husband tried for more than 6 years, going through deep depression, anxiety, and intense marriage struggles
• Why they decided the process wasn't worth the pain and decided to be child-free until changing their minds to pursue adoption
• What post-traumatic growth is and how you can recognize it
• Why Maria is passionate about growth and uses it in coaching
• What is involved in the question: Can we have more children?
• Questions to consider if you are wondering if "this journey needs to end":
• • Do the negatives of trying to conceive outweigh the positives?
  • Do the positives of stopping outweigh the negatives?
  • Are you "talking the talk" but not "walking the walk"?
  • Do you spend time obsessing about trying to conceive instead of living life?
  • Do you live in a way that isn't in line with your personality, values, and beliefs?
  • Do you feel resentful of the time and energy it takes to try to conceive?
  • Do you have a loss of creativity and curiosity around family-building options?
  • Do you have a feeling of dread around actually getting pregnant?
• The judgment around your gratefulness, happiness, and positivity for every single moment
• The acceptance piece and how it brings a healthy response
• Recognizing the feelings and making the decision to stop
• Realizing you can grow your life in other ways if you choose not to grow your family
• How pain and grief can be the impetus for finding joy and gratefulness
• Maria's year-long plan for healing her marriage and finding peace
• Maria's advice to listenters: "Letting go does NOT mean giving up"
• The fear and desperation that works against you in creating fertility
• How and why we withhold joy and pleasure from ourselves
• Re-train your brain to grow new neurotransmitters and synapses
• Final words of hope: "Pay INTENTION about listening to yourself and trusting yourself. You already know what to do next, and you just have to tune into it."

Resources:

www.drmariarothenburger.com

Find Dr. Maria on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter

Pregnancy Brain by Parijat Deshpande