Season 3 mostly consists of threesomes. Whereas in Season 1 and 2, I was lying down with a single guest at time, many of my Season 3 episodes will have me lying down with two people at a time — in this case, between two wizards. 

These humans are in some kind of relationship with one another. Thus far, I’ve had a manager and his/her trauma specialist client, co-hosts of a sexuality conversation series called the Discerning Dick, primary poly kinky romantic partners, and now, Wizard friends and esoteric collaborators.

In this episode, I lie down with Devin & Kevin. I’ve known about Devin for years. My former housemate Tiger, who you heard from in Season One, used to say, “My Wizard friend,” quite regularly in casual conversation. But it wasn’t until Lola Jean’s Kinky Carnival when we became properly acquainted and made a podcast pact. He fulfilled his part of the pact months ago.

My episode of his series This Podcast is a Ritual is called “How To Take Life Lying Down,” and in it, we talked at a moderate incline, about the origin of my horizontal curiosity, couples therapy, reflective listening, and my working definition of intimacy. Then I made a call for closing rituals, to end romantic relationships.

I also cast you a Spell.

I am truly delighted by my blossoming friendship with Devin. He is impossibly quick-witted and fantastically charismatic, adventurous in spirit, and eternally playful. I get the sense that he could communicate with anybody, anywhere, for any amount of time. His long white-blond beard never fails to make me smile, and I am excited for our friendship to grow, because he’s one of the humans that I wish to bring my conundrums to, just to see what his brain will do with them.

He’s something like your most compassionate therapist, if your therapist were a young handsome Dumbledore proficient in computers who studied improv at Second City for 7 years. If you listen to his podcast, or participate in any of his events, like the Wizarding Hour (a collaboration with Kevin) or the Wizard Walkabout, in which 50 of us took ceremonial gummy bears and went gallivanting about Central Park on 4/20, guided by the Wizard in Person, as well as the Wizard in our Ears — you’ll know that Devin has a thing for numbers.

Not for nothin’, I also took part in a Sex Magick ritual for his podcast, on 6/9, from 6 to 9pm, with between 6 and 9 people.

His fiancee, L.A. Marks, had me on her poetry podcast, A Daily Dose of Poetry, and last week, told a tale of bisexual discovery at my horizontal storytelling: the summer pride edition. 

On their mailbox is written: The Poet and The Wizard… (Can you imagine the Glory of Such a Wedding?!)

Kevin is a musician, a Senior UX Designer, and one of Devin’s dear friends. Their friendship has mostly taken place in the ether, in the form of Wizard emails, the record of which form a virtual diary, a correspondence that marks the living of our lives - in much the way, perhaps, that our grandparents wrote to their cousins.

Kevin was formerly the proprietor of Tarot Society, which was a center for the curious to gather in Bushwick and muse about things hidden and obscure. Devin & Kevin used to host a summer series there called New Age & Chill.

I never dropped by when Tarot Society was in existence, so I will have to entice Kevin to give me a reading at a pop-up or a party... His mischievous eyes and delight in getting away with things make me quite curious about the Wizardry of his Tarot.

The day of this recording was the first time I met Kevin, and, since he is a private person by nature, I am grateful that he chose to share, in the service of friendship and intimacy in this way, in this medium, with all of us. Thank you, Kevin.

In this episode, the first half of our conversation, we talk about the origin of the White Collar Wizard emails, middle-school boys and cock-shaming, Devin’s first acid trip, in 8th grade, the grand Bohemia of Olympia, Washington, learning that you aren’t "supposed to" cum too fast if you have a penis, sleep-sexing, learning about sex by asking a sexual partner, “What is your other sex like?”, Devin’s Wizard Tinder profile, 80s Penthouse, imprinting on your first porn, Kevin’s therapist, Ethical Porn for Dicks, shame-y, judgemental sex, and how some fantasies should just remain fantasies.

In the next episode, 86, the second half of our conversation, Devin and Kevin actually read us some of their private Wizard emails, we discuss what it means to be a present-day Tarot Dealer and a modern Wizard, and Devin tells us the truly incredible — as in, if you saw it in a movie you’d say, “That never happens in real life!” — and the incredibly true tale of how his hair turned Wizard White.

To listen to that episode, and for access to The Full Horizontal, which includes all the part twos plus a monthly video containing a pearl of Intimacy Wisdom, become a patron of the horizontal arts. Patreon is the love child of crowd-funding and a subscription service. Find me there!

In next week’s episode, we will be treated to the story of how Devin became a Wizard, and get to hear Devin & Kevin read some of the most pivotal Wizard Emails of their friendship.

This episode was mixed and mastered by Christopher Liang, of Audio Dojo. I’m truly grateful to have him on my team, and have already learned a great deal from him in one week of collaborating! He does Sound Mixing, Editing, and Design as well as original music for TV & Film, and composes under the name Ninjaboy.

My intro music was composed by Alan Markley, who is @plasticcannons on Instagram, and my cover art was designed by Shana Shay, whom you can hire on 99 Designs.

And now, come lie down... between two Wizards.