In this episode of the Pooch Parenting Podcast, we’re diving into a topic that many parents face: what to do when your toddler or young child is too rough with the family dog.

Maybe you’ve caught your little one pulling the dog’s tail, giving overly enthusiastic hugs, or even climbing on them like they’re a jungle gym. You love both your child and your dog, but you’re worried about how these interactions might affect their safety and their bond.

The good news is, rough behavior is a common phase in childhood, and with the right strategies, you can help your child learn to interact with your dog in a gentle, safe, and positive way. In this episode, we’ll explore why this happens, how to set your child and dog up for success, and what to do when things get a little too rough.

So, whether you’re feeling overwhelmed or just looking for tips to make life smoother for your family, you’re in the right place.

Why Rough Behavior Happens

• Curiosity and lack of impulse control are normal developmental behaviors in toddlers and young children
• Kids and parents can misunderstand dog body language and can think this type of behavior is acceptable.
• Examples of typical rough behaviors: pulling tails, climbing on the dog, hugging too tightly, etc.

Why Rough Handling of Dogs Is a Problem

• Potential risks: stress for the dog, fear, growling, or even biting.
• Rough handling can damage the child-dog bond over time.
• Many parents (and kids, of course) miss common dog stress signals (ie, lip licking, yawning, avoiding the child).

Setting Toddlers and Young Kids Up for Success Around Dogs

• Supervision: Always be paying attention when dogs and kids are in the same space and when they are interacting with each other. 
• Separation: Use barriers like baby gates or playpens when supervision isn’t possible.
• Safe Spaces: Teach children that the dog’s bed or crate is off-limits. If the dog is on the sofa or resting anywhere, they should be left alone, as if surrounded by hot lava.

Teaching Toddlers and Young Kids to be Gentle with Dogs

• Age-appropriate ways to teach children how to interact with dogs gently. 
  • Modeling soft petting.
  • Using stuffed animals to practice gentle touch.
  • Role-playing with the child.
  • Read some of my favorite books with your toddlers, including: Tails are Not for Pulling, Hands are Not for Hitting and Love Me Gently.
• Clear and consistent rules (e.g., no hugging or climbing on the dog).

Managing Expectations for Parents

• Setting realistic boundaries for what the dog can tolerate based on its temperament and age.
• Avoid placing the dog in situations where rough handling might happen.

Strengthening the Child-Dog Bond

• Activities where kids can positively engage with the dog under supervision (e.g., training tricks, feeding, or tossing a toy).
• Reinforcing good behavior from both the child and the dog.

What to Do If Rough Behavior Occurs

• Intervening calmly and redirecting the child to an appropriate activity.
• Addressing the situation without scolding the dog or the child.
• Offering alternative outlets for the child’s energy (e.g., a sensory activity).
• Download my free guide on how to help your kids to be kind and gentle with your dog.

Michelle of Pooch Parenting is now retired. Thank you for the support over the past decade. Many of her resources are now available on YouTube for FREE.