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How to be Self-Sufficient?

'If you would be loved, love.'

The wise One is in want of nothing, & yet needs many things.

On Philosophy & Friendship

Mark how self-sufficient One is; for on occasion one can be content with a part of oneself. If one lose a hand through disease, or if some accident puts out their eyes, one will be satisfied with what is left, taking as much pleasure in their impaired & maimed body as one took when it was sound. 

While one does not pine for these parts if they are missing, one prefers not to lose them. In this sense the wise person is self-sufficient, that they can do without friends, not that they desire to do without them. 

When I say "can," I mean this: One endures the loss of a friend with equanimity. They need never lack friends, for it lies in their own control how soon they shall make good a loss. 

Hecato, says: : 'If you would be loved, love.'

"The wise person is self-sufficient." This phrase, my dear Lucilius, is incorrectly explained by many; for they withdraw the wise person from the world, & force them to dwell within their own skin. 

We must mark with care what this sentence signifies & how far it applies; the wise person is sufficient unto themselves for a happy existence, but not for mere existence. 

I should like also to state to you one of the distinctions of Chrysippus who declares that, the wise One is in want of nothing, & yet needs many things.

"On the other hand," they say, "nothing is needed by the fool, for they do not understand how to use anything, but they are in want of everything." 

Wise people need hands, eyes, & many things that are necessary for their daily use; but they are in want of nothing. For want implies a necessity, & nothing is necessary to the wise Ones. 

Therefore, although one is self-sufficient, yet one has need of friends. One craves as many friends as possible, not, however, that one may live happily; for one will live happily even without friends. 

Supreme Good calls for no practical aids from outside; it is developed at home, & arises entirely within itself. If the good seeks any portion of itself from without, it begins to be subject to the play of Fortune.

People may say: "But what sort of existence will the wise person have, if they be left friendless when thrown into prison, or when stranded in some foreign nation?" 

One's life will be like that of Jupiter, who, amid the dissolution of the world, when the gods are confounded together & Nature rests for a space from its work, can retire into oneself & give themselves over to their own thoughts.

In some such way as this the sage will act; they will retreat into themselves, & live with themselves. 

"Whoever does not regard what one has as most ample wealth, is unhappy, though one be master of the whole world." 

Or, if the following seems to you a more suitable phrase, – for we must try to render the meaning & not the mere words: 

"A person may rule the world & still be unhappy, if one does not feel that one is supremely happy." 

In order, however, that you may know that these sentiments are universal, suggested, of course, by Nature, you will find in one of the comic poets this verse:

Unblest is one who thinks oneself unblest.

For what does your condition matter, if it is bad in your own eyes?