Preparing kids for bedtime is often challenging. The younger the child, the more regularly they must be reminded to wear their pajamas or brush their teeth. This is often met with scorn, excuse, or feigned ignorance; any parent knows what I’m talking about.

From a holistic, third-party view of this comically repeatable night-time experience, is my authority reduced by their continual resistance? No, I’m still their parent and still hold the rights to their obedience. If we zoom in and step into my young son’s mind when he throws a tantrum in response to my instructions, how does he view my dominion over his life and choices at that moment? He chooses his desires and questions my intention for his evening instead of honoring me as his father. In his mind, his decisions are better than mine, despite his ignorance of the next morning’s consequences.

I am not suggesting parents rule their children with an iron fist; instead, I am drawing an analogy to our everyday choices that stand against God’s standards and, thus, His will for our lives. With God as our Creator, our Father, we must make everyday choices to respond to His instructions. For us, this amounts to a standard of holiness.

We desire to live by the world’s indulgences. God instructs us against that. Which do we choose?

Paul warns the Ephesians in chapter 3, “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.” (Ephesians 3:17-18, NIV) In 1 Timothy 4, Paul similarly warns against false teachers, “whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.” (1 Timothy 4:2, NIV) Similarly, our consciences can be seared against the wisdom and preference of God through false things we convince ourselves of while we live in darkened ignorance and separation.

Our attempts to justify it can even leverage the expanding allowances between the Old Testament and New. When God the Father allows for food to be eaten that was previously deemed unclean, it is natural for us to extrapolate that in illogical ways to justify our own preferences. While we instinctively want to apply this same sense of broader allowances to other areas of our lives, there are several instances where Jesus actually commands us to more strict versions of Old Testament law. 

During His Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-6), Jesus commands stricter rules against lust, anger, and hatred than the Old Testament specifically forbids. He condemns the then-commonly used form of divorce and restricts the grounds that it becomes acceptable. In Matthew 5, Jesus remarks, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.” (Matthew 5: 17-18, NIV) We must use care in discerning God’s will.

Jesus may be our eternal “get out of jail free” card, but He does not abolish the Law that rightfully convicts us and condemns us to that jail. Even after evening struggles with my son, I am still in command of my house despite the grace he will receive from me as he matures through his obstinance. Though he may pout through bedtime, he cannot change the rules—only I, as the father, can.

It is similar to a holy standard of living: Jesus’ grace covers our sins, but that does not mean lawlessness can ensue. Like all things of our faith, it is a matter of the heart. Are we obediently following God’s commands or throwing our tantrums in resistance?

If we refuse to act on those Holy Spirit convictions, we push Him out of control and place ourselves back in control. If we opt for our desire above God’s simple instructions, we confine His reign to smaller subsets of our lives. Therefore, God only inherits dominion as we allow Him—making ourselves the true lord of our lives. Living with one foot in and one foot out of holiness is an issue of pride.

We are not saved by our works and cannot earn our way into heaven; we are saved by faith alone. However, honest faith exalts Jesus above ourselves. Only allowing Jesus to command parts of our lives impedes our faith. We lean on our understanding (read: desire) instead of His. There is grace for the impulsive crimes of passion, but our persistent failings are premeditated offenses. Yes, Jesus can walk alongside us through those struggles, but are we really turning them over to Him in faith if they plague us for weeks, months…. years?

If we claim Jesus as our Lord but conspire against His Law or attempt to restrict His dominion—either in our own lives or the lives of others—then we are treasonous. Holiness is submission to His will and not our own. Holiness is humility in action. Holiness is not natural, instinctive, or easy—it is countercultural and anti-indulgent. Holiness is a small measure of confession and a large struggle to keep our minds on heavenly things—not worldly things.

Why do I demand my children follow a set bedtime routine? Because it will be better for their rest, growth, mental development, and mood. Do they understand it in the same way? No, they will only realize—and appreciate—it when they are more mature; for now, it makes no sense to them. Similarly, we may question, wonder, and resist why God’s commands and expectations exist. We need not appreciate or understand why they are there; we need only to show our humility and faith in God’s goodness, wisdom, and promises by following them. Like a full night’s rest, it’s good for us.

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