For most of my life I have struggled with being too selfless.  Interestingly, the people that have irritated me the most in my life have been selfish.  Although it is very important that we give to others, the most important person we need to give to is ourselves.  Having said that, giving to ourselves becomes much more complicated when we have been emotionally abandoned or neglected by our family. How can we give to ourselves when the most important people that brought us into this world did not give us what we deserved.

The caller here, Katherine wants to establish a feeling of community and family outside of her own.  She doesn't feel truly appreciated by them so she wants to establish this feeling elsewhere.  Although she has experienced  a lot of turmoil with her family growing up, she believes the past is in the past now.  This has led to tremendous feelings of invalidation and keeps her from truly moving on because our feelings make up who we are and they must be validated in order to validate ourselves. Listen to this powerful podcast coached by me and Kay so you can also dig deep and see what it takes to truly put yourself first despite one's family wounds.