Unscrew You Parenting

#90 Reinforcement is a Trap


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Are Positive & Negative Reinforcement Actually Working to Correct Your Child’s Behavior?

If you’re honest with yourself, I’m willing to bet you've also noticed that while positive & negative reinforcement can work in the moment, they rarely - if ever -  lead to meaningful, long lasting change in behavior. If anything, you’re probably baffled at how 2 days, 2 hours or even just 2 mins later your child is behaving in the exact way you just tried to correct!  

So If positive and negative reinforcement worked - why does it feel like you live in groundhog day?? 

 

It’s because external reinforcement is a trap. If you're caught in the External Reinforcement Trap, you’re likely …

 

  • raising your voice at your kids at least 3 x a day
  • can't get past breakfast without losing your patience at least twice  
  • worried you must be a bad parent
  • counting the hours until naptime or bedtime so you can get a break.
  • not knowing what to do to repair your relationship after a fight.
  • telling your kid over and over that “It’s ok to be angry but it’s not ok to hit” and not knowing why they keep hitting when they’re angry

 

In today’s episode I’m sharing 2 quick and easy exercises to practice with your kids that will regulate both of you in just 60 seconds. Most people wait until the heat of the moment to whip out an exercise they learned somewhere, they heard from someone, they saw on Tiktok, but do any of those actually work for you in the moment if you haven’t practiced together and you haven’t figured out how to modify or even how to regulate at all with your kid when things are not heated? I’ll bet not. Get ready because we are about to show you how to fix it.

 

Learn on the job at work, not at home when it comes to your family. 

 

Want help with your family? DM me “HELP” and my team will reach out to you to see how we can support you!

Tag me while you’re listening on Instagram!  @rachelduffyhere

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you, I would love to hear your biggest takeaway!  Take a screenshot of you listening and post it to your Instagram stories and tag me @rachelduffyhere 

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Unscrew You ParentingBy Rachel Duffy

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