Smashtoberfest is upon us once again, and we're kicking things off with a contest between two Stephen King villains -- specifically, two Stephen King villains who were brought to life by transcendent film portrayals! The Shining's Jack Torrance, fresh off his recent stint of axe redrum fueled by writer's block and hotel ghosts, is freezing to death in the snow when he is miraculously rescued by one of his biggest fans, serial killer Annie Wilkes of Misery! With his legs crippled from frostbite and a psychopath demanding he write her a novel without the use of the letter N, can Jack find a way to escape Annie's cabin and live to drink again with dead people? Or will Annie break his spirit (along with his ankles) and dispatch him before he sees the first printing of his brand new, curse-word-free book?

Also, we somehow manage to make an episode that seems to be legitimately scaring Liz Logan, but that simultaneously contains all the Treehouse of Horror references. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Special thanks to Kevin MacLeod for his songs "Come Play With Me" and "Digital Bark." Check out more of his work at www.incompetech.com