It’s a question I’ve encountered in my practice so many times: is love a feeling or an action? Is it both or more of one than the other? If love is a feeling, is it possible to feel it without taking actions that reflect it? If love is a choice, how do we choose to love our partners, friends, and family over many years of challenges? These are all profound and important questions, for they reflect how we show up in our relationships.

In this episode, I discuss whether love is a choice or a feeling and explain why love is a constant action we do every day with our partner. I describe why falling in love is different and illustrate how it’s easier to foster connection and attraction at the beginning of a relationship. I share the story of a friend who lovingly took care of his mother, despite his mother’s behavior towards him. I also explore the different ways we can show love to our partners and how the power of appreciation has enhanced my relationship with my wife over the many years we’ve been together.

 

“We have to show love, not just feel it. We can feel love, but we choose to love every day and every moment.” - Pripo Teplitsky

 

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• Why love is an action
• How we don’t choose who we are attracted to but can choose with whom we stay in love
• The feeling of falling in love, the courtship stage, and how we choose to maintain the spark
• The work involved with deciding to share a life with a partner
• Why we shouldn’t aim to change our partner
• The power to choose your words, your actions, and your perception of your partner
• Choosing to love another begins with choosing to love ourselves
• Giving ourselves the chance to be our best selves and the kind of people we want to be
• How our childhood upbringing affects our perception of what love means
• Changing your attitudes towards your partner’s quirks and celebrating their uniqueness
• Examples of how we can show our love to our partner
• How the power of appreciation brings the value of love higher and eases challenging times

 

Related Content: 

• Falling in Love
• What Makes a Relationship Worth Doing the Hard Work
• The Power of Appreciation
• Generosity: Contemplating How We Show Up in Our Relationships
• Difficult Conversations
• Helping Men Learn to Connect with Women

  

Let’s Talk About It!

 

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of Relationships! Let’s Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

 

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Theme music “These Streets” provided by Adi the Monk