I've been having a different couple of days I use the word different instead of rough on purpose and I'm wondering if this change is an opportunity for me to talk about what I'm sensing and feeling using some of the language that I unfolded and created some of the different memes and different ways of viewing and interpreting experience so it's probably been about it's probably been about four or five days since I had some kind of energetic shift and it feels like I'm processing things differently that could be called distress or things breaking down I've noticed that I'd like to reframe and say that I'm processing different and since it's sort of a downshift and processing in a way it feels supposedly not as good or and the difference in processing is interesting I feel like I don't want to be alone feel like I want to be relational and I also feel very sensitive to noise so my my senses are quite heightened and so that adds to stress and if I'm already a little bit stressed out then it's quite additive and I think I've talked about the noise where i live in other videos but it's not super bad right now because evening and it's a weekend but I spent Tuesday and Wednesday just trying to avoid the noise i went to a quiet park then i went to a library when i got cold and the next day I had a meeting in a quiet building I just stayed in the quiet building until I had to leave and then I went to the library again and I was feeling really what would be called may be anxious but i guess it felt like energy being stirred up and and it was there for sure when I was at the building and then when I went to the library I saw somebody that I know when acquaintance from the clubhouse and we ended up chatting for probably about an hour and at first I was talking about how I wasn't doing as good as well or something and and then we were just talking about whatever and then after I left after that our I had to go and share my story for my job and that energy had completely dissipated and I was thinking to myself it's like Oh a one-hour dose of that person makes that go away because I haven't yet taken any PR ends or anything like that I would if it gets to the point where i'm feeling really fearful but if it's just uncomfortable then then I just stay with it and wait for it to pass so one hour dose that person made that feeling go away and then I drove and share my story for an hour and i think it was sort of the best i had ever done at sharing my story and it was a small group of like six or seven people but I was like really energetic and enthusiastic and I shared my story very well I can't really remember what I said but I just thought that oh that one that went well and it was sort of surprising in a way because of how I was feeling just an hour before and to me that relates to the relational thing wanting to be relational and and also an hour with that person before was relational so on one hand I need quiet from noise it doesn't have acquired from people talking or being near people it's like almost the wrong type of sound being alone hearing traffic noise all the time versus being with people and hearing people noise it's like the opposite and so and two days earlier on along the Tuesday because the thursday i shared my story i had shared my story on the tuesday and i felt like i wasn't feeling uncomfortable or like i did a bad job or anything but I just felt like oh that was I didn't feel that energy from that exchange between me and the group I guess maybe I didn't make that connection somehow and it just was like not as good in comparison to how I did on the Thursday even though I can't really remember what I shared at each of them and interestingly enough a woman at the Thursday group shared that her loved one is connected with altruism and empathy and very sensitive to other people as well I really do feel it's like a different line of intelligence it's a different sensitivity that people develop and then it makes them not acti