something I did want to talk about I don't know if I touched on and I wanted to talk about when I was mentioning that that visionary aspect comes in and sort of displaces or kicks out some of the ego elements at least temporarily is that the ego being displaced kicks out some of a person's functioning and ability perhaps and scrambles it but what happens is that a person in the visionary state they can actually acquire new abilities so a person doesn't necessarily have a disability they perhaps have different abilities and so it will be interesting to find out what it is that these abilities are that people can all of a sudden manifest just like sometimes a person that has a stroke or some kind of brain thing happen all of a sudden when they recover they are a great poet or they can write music when they've never learned music and these things are pretty rare but i feel that a person after they've gone through a mental health crisis perhaps sometimes now has a new pool of abilities to tap into and people that when they're in the extreme part of their visionary state they might feel like they're psychic they might feel like they're a profit they might feel like they're magical and maybe they are for that little time being maybe it's just a delusion whatever but how can some of those extreme traits actually get tamed down into something that is tangible on a daily basis so maybe a person that was felt like they were a prophet and they were writing a new spiritual doctrine while they were in that state maybe that person actually did connect with kind of spirituality that they want to explore when perhaps before the crisis they were an atheist or maybe a person starts like writing incessantly and then after the fact they can still write pretty well and maybe they are not channeling the type of information they were before but maybe all of a sudden they do have access to being able to write or I feel there's a lot of heart centered qualities that come into play so for example when I was in mania I felt very connected to the issue and occurrence of homelessness and before that I didn't have any real interest or thoughts about that but when I was in that state I could feel it like I know where I can sense or have a felt sense or it's like it's in within me that I can feel the empathy that empathetic resonance with the person that's homeless and I could really feel it and it was extremely painful so even though the manic state is very beautiful and wonderful and happy I also experienced a lot of pain in that I was so open and I was so vulnerable and I was so as if there was no ego of my own self to block me from resonating with whoever it was that I was perceiving at the moment so if I was looking at a little child I would be in just like Glee and happiness and how wonderfully happy they are or if I saw a parent yelling at their child I would just kind of be mad like you know you don't need to do that and um and then if I saw like homeless person I would feel incredible pain and sadness and and freezing cold and just it's almost like since I was nothing as an ego I was just whatever I wherever I was I was what that situation was and I could feel it and now imagine if we were like that all the time if all of us could really sense what we were seeing so if I if somebody looked at a homeless person they felt what it was like to be homeless they didn't feel yadda yadda ya goin on about what's for dinner thinking about what happened at work and looking at it and walking by which means not actually seeing anything at all not seen so this ego and monologue and yet yammering on actually is a protection mechanism because it blocks whatever it is that's really there because whatever is going on in the Yammer is not what's really there it's just you hammering and it actually prevents action so going back to when I manic and there's no real yammering and I'm really there with what's happening in the moment I have to go help that homeless perso