We torch Matt Gaetz and the click-bait right for inventing Israeli "war crimes" like they’re auditioning for Al Jazeera. We praise ICE and lament the judicial system after they arrest an illegal who's been convicted 25 times (!), while California hands out 60,000 truck licenses to more of them. We are shocked by Pam Bondi getting a TikTok fatwa, but even more shocked the judge let the guy who called in the hit walk. We laugh at irrelevant Eric Swalwell, popping up to demand Trump’s ballroom be bulldozed (proving Democrats have no platform beyond throwing money wasting tantrums). We discuss Trump's 48-hour ultimatum on Hamas, and how following through on that threat might reshape the Middle East. Finally, we tell off Thom Yorke for virtue signaling while failing to hang on to his soul.