a calm presence

A narration of my pressing pause posting (last one for a while).

uplift

here are some uplifting words for the new year drawn from 9 episodes of conscient podcast et 3 extraits du balado conscient

This posting of a calm presence was designed as an audio listening experience though it also exists in written form, HERE.

Ceci est un episode bilingue. Afin de faciliter la compréhension des extraits en anglais, j’ai ajouté une transcription de l’épisode en français dans les notes d’épisode. J’ai aussi ajouté un petit sommaire oral en français à la fin de chacun des épisodes en anglais. Personnellement, je trouve intéressant d’écouter quelqu’un parler dans une autre langue, car je peux me concentrer sur le ton et l’intonation de la voix.

This is a bilingual episode. For those who do not understand French I have added a transcript in English in the episode notes. I also created a short English language oral summary for each of the French language episodes. Personally, I find it interesting to listen to someone speak in another language because I can focus on the tone and inflection of the voice.

Please note that the pace of my narration is rather slow with the occasional short silence.

This is how I like to listen to narrations, with lots of space to ponder what is being said but also to consider what might lie in between the words and in the timbre of the voice. I’m also recording this reading in one take, flubs and all, similar to a late night radio monologue where it’s ok to be imperfect and where time is suspended.

Finally, a reminder that I now publish a calm presence postings one at a time, for a few weeks and then replace it with a new one and so on. In other words, what you’re listening to now, recorded on January 1, 2026 at 8.51 am it will be erased sometime in February 2026, never to be published again but I hope it might be retained in memory for those who need it, which is why I created this Substack in the first place, for those in need of a calm presence.

A narration of my ‘4%’ posting.

(note: the original erasure posting can be found here)

It’s November 1st, 2025 and as you can hear, I’m not at home.

We’ve been traveling for the last couple of weeks in Ecuador. We’re now in the Amazon near Tena in the territory of the Kichwa people (Anaconda Lodge).

I’m reading you this a calm presence posting called erasure. What I’ve just done, or I will do soon, is erase all 81 postings that I have made in French and in English, on this Substack.

I’m starting from scratch, and it feels good.

Let me explain…

When I first launched a calm presence in February of 2024, my intentions were to share my learnings ‘for those in need of a calm presence’. That’s a term that I borrowed from Dharma teacher Catherine Ingram.

And it was successful. People would respond and I would essentially think out loud.

But I’ve come to realize that these essays and opinion pieces - heartfelt as they might be - are snapshots in time that quickly become outdated.

They weren’t meant to be kept, really, but I kept them anyway, because that’s the way we do things.

We don’t throw things out, partially because of vanity, but also to have a trail of one’s work or thinking.

(Mount Cotopaxi, Equador)

A few days ago we were hiking in the Andes and the Tibetan Buddhist tradition of sand mandalas came to mind, so I went to Wikipedia. Sand mandalas are defined as:

the creation and destruction of mandalas made from colored sand. Once complete, the sand mandala’s ritualistic dismantling is accompanied by ceremonies and viewings to symbolize Buddhist doctrinal belief in the transitory nature of material life.

The transitory nature of material life, which is more or less what a calm presence is about.

This got me thinking : what if ,with all due respect to Tibetan culture and any cultural borrowings, I emulated the creation and the destructive process of sand mandalas with the content and form of a calm presence.

If not emulate, then at least be inspired by this way of creating, knowing that it will be returned to the Earth, so to speak.

And since this is a digital art or digital project, I started thinking about what it meant for all those digits that retain the knowledge somehow, or at least carry it, what happens when they get dispersed?

And so it opened up a whole new world, new way of thinking about writing and dissemination and memory and related issues.

I was inspired by the sand mandala tradition.

I’ll read you a quote of how it’s described:

into flowing water to symbolize the cycle of life and the dissolution of the physical world.

So when the sand is returned, it is through water and then dispersed back into nature. And there’s the healing energy side to things that also interests me and that I will explore further.

I think the idea is when somebody reads a calm presence posting, it is metabolized.

They retain whatever they want to retain. It can be a word or two, a couple of thoughts, and then that’s it. There’s no need to go back to it. After a few weeks of it being present in our lives, it disappears.

And another comes along when it’s relevant and so on and so forth. There isn’t the accumulation, there’s simply an experiencing that goes on as part of day-to-day life.

I like that and I’m going to give it a try.

And if you so wish, you can continue to follow and hear or read these postings, which won’t be much longer than this one today.

And before leaving, I want to thank the 290 subscribers to a calm presence. It’s been good to have the company and the exchange, but I also want to remind you that you’re more than welcome to unsubscribe if you want to take a break. Don’t feel obliged, I won’t be offended.

This is a kind of word-of-mouth activity.

The way that I read and share, I think, is the way I like to work. If something inspires you or motivates you or resonates somehow, I just let that be shared in whichever way you want. Sometimes it’s a story, sometimes it’s an electronic transfer passing on.

This is the first of these new postings, the sand mandela inspired series which will disappear soon.

I wish you all the best.

*

Cover photo of moss at 4100 meters, Quito, Ecuador by Claude Schryer; photo of Mount Cotopaxi by Claude Schryer

This is my narration of my ‘a calm presence’ Substack posting ‘my arcanum’. You can also listen to it on conscient podcast.

You’ll hear that I’ve added some keyboard music here and there generated on a Yamaha e353 keyboard which I bought to help me learn my tenor 2 parts for the Canadian Centennial Choir here in Ottawa but as I recorded the narration I started playing a muted banjo patch in chuck boom boom style and it reminded of listening to radio artist Joe Frank in the 1980s who often had this kind of marimba sound in his radio plays and it always mesmerized me and so I had some fun adding the different sounds of this synthesizer, integrating it with the narration and I think what I was trying to is to lighten up a bit as I narrate these rather dark thoughts.

Excerpt from the beginning of the posting:

It was inspired by tea with artist and family friend Barbara Cuerden on September 27th, 2025.

While chatting, Barbara mentioned Saul Bellow’s 1987 novel More Die of Heartbreak, notably this excerpt from page 27 :

* An arcanum is more than a mere secret; it’s what you have to know in order to be fertile in a creative pursuit, to make discoveries, to prepare for the communication of a spiritual mystery.

Ah-ha.

I told Barbara and my wife Sabrina, quite spontaneously, and perhaps foolishly :

* I think my own arcanum is full. I don’t think I need to know anything more at this point…

I didn’t mean to say that I know everything, not by any means, but rather that I have heard and produced so many podcasts, read so many books, seen so many films, read and written so many essays, organized and attended so many webinars and workshops, had so many conversations etc. so that I don’t think, at this point, more knowledge will help.

My learning and unlearning journey with conscient podcast and balado conscient has come full circle and it was time to let all that knowing settle, consolidate and metabolize.

However, one topic in particular continues to haunt me:

* How to be an activist in the context of societal collapse?

* How to genuinely stay positive and hopeful?

* How to behave normally knowing that our species is in freefall?

I hope these words are helpful to you. Maybe some of them resonate.

Feel free to share any comments in this forum or to me directly: [email protected]

Warm thanks to Kamea Chayne, Lyla June Johnston, Vanessa Andreotti, Shaun Chamberlin, Indy Johar, Clara Schryer and Riel Schryer for using their words with special thanks to Barbara Cuerden for telling me about arcana.

Ceci est la version sonore de mon article se recroqueviller trouve sur le Substack a calm presence.

Cet épisode comprend également des extraits des épisodes du balado conscient é55 – un petit instant avec France Trépanier, e177 - unknownness as a playground for artists, avec Asma Khan, e231 – what can we contribute? avec Kelly Wilhelm, e239 roundtable – imagining in public e2 - artist perspectives on social impactavec Jesse Hirsh et e235 – art from the soil avec Lallan.

Ma conclusion est la suivante :

« Je ne pense pas que les humains survivront encore longtemps en tant qu'espèce sur Terre et je m'inquiète pour la souffrance des communautés humaines et plus qu'humaines actuelles et futures. »

Et

« Mon propre équilibre entre l'espoir et le désespoir réside dans ma conviction que nous sommes tous de l'énergie vivante et que la vie dans le cosmos se déroulera comme elle le devrait. La meilleure chose à faire pour quelqu'un comme moi est d'être aussi présent et calme que possible tout en regardant les étoiles avec émerveillement et en faisant tout mon possible pour réduire la souffrance et préparer l'avenir. »

À la fin, je dresse une liste de 15 ressources avec des liens que vous trouverez dans les notes de l'épisode.

This is the narrated version of my hunkering down posting, which can also be found as a bonus episode on the conscient podcast. It was recorded on August 11, 2025 in one take while drifting in a kayak on the Preston River in Duhamel, Québec and includes an encounter with a duckling. You’ll hear 10 seconds of silence in between sections. Quoted texts have been slightly processed for clarity.

My narration of my ‘a sense of communion’ posting. Also available on conscient podcast as a bonus episode.

This is a narrated version of my ‘a painfully small window’ posting that was recorded in one take on May 21, 2025 on the streets of Hakone-Yumoto, Japan with the Haya River and lively birdsong in the background. It’s also available on conscient podcast (https://conscient-podcast.simplecast.com/episodes/a-calm-presence-a-painfully-small-window)

This is a narrated version of my ‘climate amnesia’ posting, written and recorded while on a trip to northern India.