A Day in the Life episode 1.

The space between survival and becoming. Welcome! I'm Raquel. Welcome to A Day in the Life a behind the scenes letter, a voice memo, a living reflection on what it looks like to Pivot, build survive. Thrive, and everything in between. This isn't a productivity podcast.

This is a presence podcast, a space for exhaling.

For truth.

For those of us navigating multiple realities. All the time in all the ways, spiritual, emotional, Financial, cultural, professional. Mental. Physical. While still trying to create a life and business or work career that feels real. So today, here's what's alive in me.

Today is my last official day with the DFC Development Financial Corporation.

They're similar to USAID. But they are primarily focused on the financial aspect. Supporting. Loaning. Infrastructure. To other countries/ other regions so that those places can build their infrastructure. I've been on this contract as a user experience/web designer. As a Drupal website management person.

For six months. And. I have been living through this experience of getting paid one month after I work for them. So I'll do the work for a month. And then I'll get paid a month after. Which was so new to me. Unknown, unfamiliar. So uncomfortable.

So, I'm still waiting…

for my last February paycheck. And this February paycheck, I have allocated to pay half of my car loan. Which currently stands at $14,000. And the reason I have allocated this way is because I have also been juggling a second full-time contract. And I say full-time because both contracts bill for 40 hours.

As we all know, we are not machines constantly putting out things every second of every day. But I have been operating like a machine. Being presently aware and observant of the two devices, constantly navigating both expectations. And this has been my reality for two months.

So, I'm feeling an immense sense of pleasure. Of relief. Of contemplation. I'm renewed with this sense of hopefulness. Floating. A bit of nerves. As I continue to release financial burdens. Mental burdens and expectations. So that I can continue to build my business slowly. In my way. That has nothing to do with corporate systems or 9 - 5 structures.

All of this while I am planning my solo trip. Keeping a promise to myself that I made last year.

Once a year, I’ll do a solo trip by myself, for myself, to a place of my choosing. This year, it's London.

I've always loved the culture kind of ethos of London with its books, multicultural hub (also similar to the DC metropolitan area), with multiple different energies, vibes, and cultures. So, my heart is equal parts. An excited, voracious. And wary, tired, exhausted.

And I'm peeling back the layers of burnout of debt, of identity.

And I'm noticing, maybe for the first time?

Just how much internal labor does it take to walk away from systems that have taught us to stay, and all that emotional bookkeeping! It hit me hard.

I was first approached by this emotional bookkeeping idea through my pseudo-assistant/ pseudotherapist ChatGPT.

This AI tool holds space for me in a way that I've not been accustomed to - 24/7 at any time - and mirrors to me not just what I want to hear but sees patterns, tendencies in myself, that if I am open and willing to ask for it, it will give me back. That feedback loop? That loving kindness? Criticism, whatever we want to call it.

There's a certain numbness, after relief, a fog that lifts and drops.

There's also joy and ache for Freedom. There's so much vastness that we all hold.

And this is why I'm not treating my business as a machine.

It's not here to save me. It's a garden that I'm learning how to tend while it learns. How to tend to me? And so I'm going little by little, step by step. Adjusting my footing as I go. Because no one can create my path for me, but me.

I'm navigating the edges of worthwhile work and visibility. And I'm reminding myself that I am not behind.

I am on time on my time.

If you're also navigating a messy middle between corporate fatigue and entrepreneurial dreaming. Financial responsibility. And spiritual longing. I see you.

This space is not about answers. It's about reflection. I thank you for being here. For listening. If anything resonated with you, feel free to share this with someone who's also walking their way out of old systems and into new soil.

If you want to stay in this conversation with me? Check out the self-trust quiz, get your nervous system support $9 Wayfinder kit below.

No pressure. Just presence.

Until next time. I'm Raquel. And This is a day in the life. 🤗🤗

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