A Father’s Quick Grip Saves the Day

On a Saturday afternoon in November 2024, a family in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, was walking to a Shabbat gathering when a masked 28-year-old man, Stephan Stowe, suddenly lunged at their 6-year-old son. Surveillance video captured the suspect yanking the boy so forcefully that his feet lifted off the ground. Fortunately, the father maintained his grip, pulling the child back. One media story said the father “punched” the abductor in the stomach, but it was far from anything I would recognize as a punch. No words were exchanged during the brief encounter, and the suspect fled the scene. The child was uninjured, but the event highlights the brazen nature of such threats in everyday settings. Stowe, a member of the G-Stone Crips gang with 33 prior arrests (25 of which are sealed), was quickly apprehended early the next day and charged with second-degree attempted kidnapping, acting in a manner injurious to a child (endangering the welfare of a child), and harassment. He was ordered held without bail following his arraignment. His extensive criminal history includes an August 2024 arrest for strangling his girlfriend, leading to charges of third-degree assault, criminal mischief, criminal trespass, and harassment; an April 2023 arrest for possession of firearms, ammunition, drugs, a credit card skimmer, and a police radio; and a 2019 arrest for criminal possession of a weapon. Imagine that an emboldened criminal is left free to attack your children. “The whale is through the net,” in the words of John Adams, who also said, “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people.” This criminal deserves neither the Constitution nor its protections. Read more about the new criminal normal and why you can’t afford to put any hope in the justice system here: The Whale is Through the Net.

This incident, caught on video by the Crown Heights Shomrim Patrol, occurred just days after a related event where two young girls had their scooter stolen in the same neighborhood, leading to arrests of the suspect and his associates.

Key Awareness Principles: Spotting Baselines vs. Anomalies

Drawing from my courses and training, after getting your mindset straight, the core of self-protection starts with observation. Always scan for what’s normal (baselines) versus what’s off (anomalies). In this case:

* Abnormal Positioning: The suspect was walking in the street while everyone else stuck to the sidewalk—a clear red flag.

* The ABCDs of Threat Recognition:

* Appearance: The ski mask screamed trouble. It’s the “uniform” of potential criminals—signaling someone who’s antisocial, intimidating, or mid-crime.

* Behavior: Watch for “vectoring,” where a person abruptly changes direction or speed toward you. Here, the attacker zeroed in on the family. I just worked on an attempted murder case, where the handgun-armed attacker’s final vector towards an innocent third party was a key point in the defendant’s self-defense case after he used his own handgun to disable the attacker.

* Communication: Prolonged or intense eye contact (target lock) often precedes an attack. Though not fully visible in the video, it’s likely at play here. Some adult staring at one of your children should cause alarm.

* Display of Hands/Weapons: In this case, the attacker appeared to be unarmed. But in the case of an attack on a helpless child, a grown man’s personal weapons are all that is needed to do serious bodily injury. A kidnapper should be dealt with accordingly. Most states allow deadly force as a form of resistance against kidnapping attempts.

These layers help you filter threats before they escalate and give you a chance to act early.

Immediate Action Drills: Shield, Respond, Evacuate

The father at least acted instead of freezing, and did well by instinctively positioning himself between the threat and his children— a fundamental protection principle. To build on this:

* Create Distance: Move your protectee (your loved ones) away from danger. Depending on the situation, you may evacuate with them or meet the threat. When they are old enough, they should know how to self-evacuate and have an idea of where to go.

* Position between the greatest threat and your protectees: Become a shield and a sword that the threat must deal with first. Block their path, foil their attack, or counterattack viciously to take pressure off your protectee. This should be done at the first sign of danger, not after an attack. If the father had positioned himself properly, his children would not have been within easy reach. Notice, I didn’t just say “shield.” You have to have that aggression/offensive switch ready to go to full “on” position. I don’t think this father was prepared to do much beyond what he did here. Other than taking a moment of disbelief delay to convince myself that some evil scumbag attempted to snatch my child out of my arms, I am not sure you could stop me from a full-on immediate assault, and the law would be on my side. Regardless, you aren’t getting near my kids with a frikkin ski mask on in non-winter conditions.

* Use of Force Considerations: In most states, an attempted kidnapping justifies deadly force to protect yourself or others. This suspect is lucky the father wasn’t armed, but remember: Legal, tactical, and moral factors always apply. Advanced training is essential if firearms are involved, especially near loved ones.

I just completed a home defense course for a group of corporate employees, and I used a home invasion that led to the wife confronting an attacker who was pistol-whipping her husband as an example of the high level of skill needed to deal with situations you could have otherwise avoided using mindset, awareness, and avoidance measures. To be brief, the husband left his gun and went around exploring for an outside intruder, exposing his family when the intruder gained entry and held him at gunpoint. In the end, the intruder was killed, and the husband was permanently paralyzed by errant rounds from his wife, who was doing her best to save him in a hostage rescue shooting scenario. Something even most tactical teams never feel completely comfortable with.

* Family Safe Haven Plan: Develop an “immediate action” protocol. Teach age-appropriate kids commands like “Red Alert!” or “Run to Safe Haven!” Designate spots like fire stations, open stores, hospitals, or trusted neighbors. In a crisis, send them there while you handle the threat—or have a secondary defender assist.

Your Action Plan: Build Resilience Today

* Review the incident video with your family (see the provided footage)

* Map safe havens in your frequent locations—such as parks, schools, fire stations, and stores. Note them in new locations or during unique events.

* Practice a few bodyguard drills in condition orange and red scenarios. In orange, calmly position between the potential threat and loved ones. In red, act decisively and become the sword and shield that the attacker must deal with first. Have them evac to the next point of cover or safe haven, then meet up.

* Go through my other articles and pick out scenarios where family members were attacked and use those as material for your exercises. Start here: Your Job Is to Die: The Brutal Truth About The Protector’s Role. This case also reviews your bodyguard plan and includes a secondary defender.

I’ve gotten some really good feedback from several people who share these articles with their family members and others. Please feel free to share. Let’s boost the subscribers and make our families and communities stronger and safer.

Stay threat-proof and be capable and confident in a crisis.

– Trevor Thrasher,

Man at Arms

Next up, home defense….

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