Marriage is built on choices.A successful marriage is built on making good choices. Even if you have not always made the best choices in the past… maybe not the best choices leading up to marriage… the choices you make from this moment forward can work for you. You can be confident you are making the right choices if you allow God’s word to guide you. It is time to leave the past in the rear view mirror of your life and move into a better future. Ezekiel 18:21-23 you are not trapped in your pastYour marriage will improve when you start putting God’s word in practice. Yes, the project will move forward faster if both husband and wife are in agreement about God’s law and God’s love…. But even if your mate is not with you on this… one person can make a difference… and God expects you put His words into practice even if you are the only one.1 Peter 3:1-2Choice 1: Lifelong CommitmentGen 2:24says a man [and woman] shall cleave to his wife… [be joined NIV], [be united NLT], [hold fast ESV]… [dabaq = to stick with… like glue].Lifelong commitment is a choice the husband and wife make. It is an agreement you make with one another… and with God. To stay faithful, loyal and exclusive. It’s a choice you make the day you get married… it’s a choice you make every day thereafter. “Whatever problems come our way I will stick with it and we will work it out”It is not a choice built on feelings… emotions are always changing… sometimes they are hot… sometimes they are cold. What God is looking for, what He wants to build in you is not loyalty that comes in burst of enthusiasm… when it suits us… when its going our way. Even commitment that is there most of the time is not sufficient. God wants commitment that is there all the time.This is why marriage vows contain phrases like… for richer, and poorer, in sickness and health… till death do us part.God may allow events and circumstances that will challenge your commitment… you must make the choice to remain committed.Choice 2: LoveHalf the songs ever sung are about love… of the lack of it. It’s a thrill, a shot of adrenaline, and not having it can be just as emotional. But are we really singing about love? Or, is it desire?God’s word reveals that love is a choice… furthermore, love a choice of what we do rather than how we feel. So, love is a choice rather than an emotion. The distinction is important. An emotion is something that comes upon you through instinct, your reactions to stimuli [such as a hard charging Grizzly bear, or a woman with a pretty face]. Emotions are reactions that are hard wired into your DNA…fear, or sexual desire [which of those it is depends on whether or not you are another Grizzly bear or not].Husbands are told to make the choice to love their wives Colossians 3:19. If love were not a matter of choice then it wouldn’t be a reasonable demand. God does not command husbands to feel about their wives a certain way. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 here is how husbands are instructed to love their wives. Patience is not an emotion it’s a choice, kindness and gentleness are not feelings they are decisions you make about how you will act or not act… especially in situations which are not going exactly your way.This is the love God expects and instructs husbands to show towards their wives. Godly LeadershipGod is very clear that the husband in tasked with the responsibility of leadership in his family. To fulfill His commission you must make a deliberate choice to love… which means regulate the things you do… which we have just heard expanded upon in 1 Corinthians. The model of leadership Jesus gave us is humility – an acceptance of the role God gave Him to fulfill and submission of himself to the guidelines of that role. So, Godly leadership in the family concerns itself with the needs of others: what will benefit the whole family, your wife and children, rather than satisfying your own self. How you spend your moneyHow you spend your timeGood decisions based on love will leave your family f