Episode #006   Sixty something, Stephanie Raffelock, in her book “The Delightful Little Book On Aging” starts by saying that "we don’t have a container for grief and that aging takes place against a backdrop of grief - loss of parents, siblings,  friends, athletic prowess and youthful beauty."  Rafflelock says that grief is also about the little losses that pile up over time as friendships end, children move away, the role of work or career that once defined us gone.

The good thing about this says Raffelock, is that says grief cannot exist without love. And that, if we let it,  grief allows us to reinvent ourselves.

She says resist grief and you will get stuck. Give her too much attention, and she’ll eat you up.

Failure After Fifty

Up until our sixties, we are fixed on success and failure. We are headed upward and outward says Raffelock. As we age, things slow down. The feeling of failure when time is running out, is an invitation to a larger vision, she says. 

Raffelock says this is the time to think like a tree. Think about going deeper – rooting downward like a tree. She says we can either quit or go deeper. 

Betrayal of The Body 

We sometimes think that our bodies are a lot younger than they are. Raffelock reminds us that our bodies are not  ageless. Our bodies will slowly break down. And we need to be more peaceful with that idea. 

Meanwhile we can keep moving she talks about her daily five mile walks outside, pilates, chair yoga, and swimming. Stephanie encourages us to appreciate that today is the day to get outside, that we are still upright, and we can move. 

When she asked her mother about aging, her mother said, “Getting old isn’t so bad but I wish I had left my dancing shoes on a little longer.”  

 Reclamation

There are things that you give up along the way, says Raffelock. We can reclaim a little of our core of wildness. She says before this stage, we are focused on career, mortgage. As we age, this is the time to reclaim a little bit of our wild outdoor self, our poetic sled poetic self, and our sense of adventure.

Say Thank you To Yourself 

Stephanie says life takes away with one hand and gives back with the other. We can find a ways to make a little alters in the woods, place leaves in a certain pattern for ourselves – to honor the sacred and to honor ourselves. 

Gratitude she says is linked to reclamation. We can use saying thank you to ourselves and to nature to dodge the old slings and arrows of betrayal. We can say thank you to ourselves for getting outside, we can thank our bodies for working for us. Gratitude calms the heart and calms the mind, she says.

Things To Get Rid Of and Things To Embrace  

After retirement, Stephanie went through her drawers and got rid of things: pantyhose, thongs, underwire bras.  

She now wears athletic clothing and sensible flats. She is getting more comfortable. She also says “wear more color – you don’t have to blend in.” 

Please go to

For peer reviewed research on how your time spent in green space can change your mindset, balance your nervous system and your heart rate please go to verlafortier.substack.com and check out my books Take Back Your Outside Mindset: Live Longer, Stress Less, and Control Your Chronic Illness and Optimize Your Heart Rate: Balance Your Mind and Body With Green Space