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A Guide to Fair Fighting | S03E04
Do you think happy couples never fight? That is a myth.
The truth is, conflict is inevitable in any long-term relationship. The difference between a healthy partnership and a toxic one isn't the absence of arguing—it's how you argue.
If you avoid conflict to "keep the peace," you are often just waging a cold war. In this episode, we open the toolkit on Conflict Resolution. We aren't trying to stop the arguments; we are trying to make them productive rather than destructive. Learn how to regulate your nervous system when tempers flare and how to express your needs without throwing grenades.
IN THIS EPISODE:
The "Timeout" Tool: Why you need a 20-minute pause when your heart rate spikes (and why you must come back).
XYZ Statements: How to swap "You always..." accusations for specific, non-defensive requests.
The "Kitchen Sink" Rule: Why bringing up history (like what happened in 2021) is killing your progress.
Validation: How to de-escalate a fight in 30 seconds.
TIMESTAMPS:00:00 – Introduction: The myth of the "Perfect Couple"03:15 – Why we get "flooded" during arguments08:30 – Tool 1: The 20-Minute Safety Pause14:45 – Tool 2: The XYZ Formula (I feel X when you do Y)19:20 – Tool 3: Sticking to the current issue23:00 – Summary & Outro
ABOUT THE SHOW:Your Journey Your Tools is produced and curated by Nathan White, a Counsellor and Life Coach based in Perth, Western Australia. We ditch the "fluff" and toxic positivity to focus on practical, evidence-based systems. Nathan gathers the research and verifies the tools, providing the hardware updates your brain needs to navigate anxiety, relationships, and modern burnout.
SAY HELLO & GET MORE TOOLS:📲 Download the App: www.yourjourneyyourtools.app🌐 Website: www.yourjourneyyourtools.com📷 Instagram: @yourjourneyyourtools
Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes and does not replace professional therapy or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services.
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By Nathan WhiteDo you think happy couples never fight? That is a myth.
The truth is, conflict is inevitable in any long-term relationship. The difference between a healthy partnership and a toxic one isn't the absence of arguing—it's how you argue.
If you avoid conflict to "keep the peace," you are often just waging a cold war. In this episode, we open the toolkit on Conflict Resolution. We aren't trying to stop the arguments; we are trying to make them productive rather than destructive. Learn how to regulate your nervous system when tempers flare and how to express your needs without throwing grenades.
IN THIS EPISODE:
The "Timeout" Tool: Why you need a 20-minute pause when your heart rate spikes (and why you must come back).
XYZ Statements: How to swap "You always..." accusations for specific, non-defensive requests.
The "Kitchen Sink" Rule: Why bringing up history (like what happened in 2021) is killing your progress.
Validation: How to de-escalate a fight in 30 seconds.
TIMESTAMPS:00:00 – Introduction: The myth of the "Perfect Couple"03:15 – Why we get "flooded" during arguments08:30 – Tool 1: The 20-Minute Safety Pause14:45 – Tool 2: The XYZ Formula (I feel X when you do Y)19:20 – Tool 3: Sticking to the current issue23:00 – Summary & Outro
ABOUT THE SHOW:Your Journey Your Tools is produced and curated by Nathan White, a Counsellor and Life Coach based in Perth, Western Australia. We ditch the "fluff" and toxic positivity to focus on practical, evidence-based systems. Nathan gathers the research and verifies the tools, providing the hardware updates your brain needs to navigate anxiety, relationships, and modern burnout.
SAY HELLO & GET MORE TOOLS:📲 Download the App: www.yourjourneyyourtools.app🌐 Website: www.yourjourneyyourtools.com📷 Instagram: @yourjourneyyourtools
Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes and does not replace professional therapy or medical advice. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services.