My college-age daughters (33 and 36 years younger than me) frequently borrow my clothes. They often wear the clothes that I have purchased for them as gifts and receive lots of compliments. It’s not that I am a fashion pro, by any means. However, I am not afraid to be creative or take fashion risks. I have learned that appearing confident is at least half the battle. I have tried to pass this on to my children.

This doesn’t mean I don’t care what other people think. I can be insecure, but I have gotten fairly good at suppressing those concerns in favor of other priorities, including fun and comfort. I have examined the culture of clothing and worked on finding a balance between not totally shocking people, but not trying to fit in a mold that doesn’t fit me and is always changing.

Passing on this same perspective to my children has resulted in less conflict between us about how they choose to dress. They know that I am concerned about three things:

How much a parent might interfere based on these criteria will obviously depend on how old the child is. The younger a child is, the less aware he is aware of potential consequences. Weather or environmental considerations can be pretty serious.

Concerns about reactions will vary with the context. For instance, I really don’t care what people think about what we wear to Walmart, but if we are going to someone’s home I would recommend we consider their preferences.

And while I often feel no need to adhere to other people’s (wide variety of) ideas about the morality of certain dress codes, neither am I going to dress with the main goal of bothering someone.

I think that a lot of tension between children and parents regarding clothing occurs because of the factors below. Some are the prerogative of the parents due to finances or work load.  Some are blown out of proportion, often due to peer pressure on both sides.

Washing, repairing, and household order has a lot to do with property rights, so I think my article suggesting some Gui