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A Hobby is as Good as a Friend
A hobby can be as good as a best friend, especially when you’re dealing with a bully.
I have three reasons for this:
1- Getting good at something builds confidence, focus and gives you something to be proud of about yourself. When you see yourself as accomplished, as somebody who follows out their own intentions and dreams, it raises your self-esteem. Watching yourself improve over time also builds confidence. You’ll see that you CAN do difficult things and go past your old barriers to success. If you can do one difficult thing, you can apply your success in that area to meet other goals (like beating your bully at their own game). Get out of your comfort zone and you’ll be much stronger.
2- If you have a great hobby, you always have something better to do than hang out with people who aren’t being friends: drama queens, gossips, energy vampires, bullies. Dealing with bullies and how they mistreat you can be quite isolating. In fact bullies use isolation as a tactic to keep you down. When we feel out of touch with others, outcast or like we don’t fit in, we are weakened. This puts us in a position where we’re more likely to dish out the BF: hand over our power, lose emotional control, do whatever it takes to keep a “friend” happy or keep a bully in check.
3- Way to meet new and better friends and expand your social experience. Sometimes all you need to reframe the way you see yourself as a friend is to make some new friends. And friends are easier to find, make and keep when you share something in common that you like to do/get better at.
Hobbies I recommend: Guitar or rock band instrument, dance like hiphop or swing, card games and board games, photography, yoga, animal care and sports like agility, tracking, barn hunt or frisbee, biking, track and field, swimming, rowing and paddling, outdoor survival, awareness and pursuits, skate/snow/surf boarding, watercolor painting, roller skating, thrift shopping and used clothing redesign, sewing/knitting/crochet, crafts, cooking and baking, D&D and other games, legos, writing, journals and scrapbooks, calligraphy, origami, bikes and rock climbing, birdwatching or astronomy, gardening, walks and hikes, martial arts, magic, stand-up or improv comedy, acting and singing, reading and club or author events, collecting, traveling (even if it’s planning trips to take as and adult by learning about places of interest to you), podcasting, learn a language, volunteer.
Why do I bring this up now?
As I talked about last week, vacation is a perfect time for reflection and to remake yourself.
Develop a new skill and make it into a hobby with this time off. Next year you’ll have something to look forward to or engage in when things don’t go your way or social options are limited.
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By Kelly SorgA hobby can be as good as a best friend, especially when you’re dealing with a bully.
I have three reasons for this:
1- Getting good at something builds confidence, focus and gives you something to be proud of about yourself. When you see yourself as accomplished, as somebody who follows out their own intentions and dreams, it raises your self-esteem. Watching yourself improve over time also builds confidence. You’ll see that you CAN do difficult things and go past your old barriers to success. If you can do one difficult thing, you can apply your success in that area to meet other goals (like beating your bully at their own game). Get out of your comfort zone and you’ll be much stronger.
2- If you have a great hobby, you always have something better to do than hang out with people who aren’t being friends: drama queens, gossips, energy vampires, bullies. Dealing with bullies and how they mistreat you can be quite isolating. In fact bullies use isolation as a tactic to keep you down. When we feel out of touch with others, outcast or like we don’t fit in, we are weakened. This puts us in a position where we’re more likely to dish out the BF: hand over our power, lose emotional control, do whatever it takes to keep a “friend” happy or keep a bully in check.
3- Way to meet new and better friends and expand your social experience. Sometimes all you need to reframe the way you see yourself as a friend is to make some new friends. And friends are easier to find, make and keep when you share something in common that you like to do/get better at.
Hobbies I recommend: Guitar or rock band instrument, dance like hiphop or swing, card games and board games, photography, yoga, animal care and sports like agility, tracking, barn hunt or frisbee, biking, track and field, swimming, rowing and paddling, outdoor survival, awareness and pursuits, skate/snow/surf boarding, watercolor painting, roller skating, thrift shopping and used clothing redesign, sewing/knitting/crochet, crafts, cooking and baking, D&D and other games, legos, writing, journals and scrapbooks, calligraphy, origami, bikes and rock climbing, birdwatching or astronomy, gardening, walks and hikes, martial arts, magic, stand-up or improv comedy, acting and singing, reading and club or author events, collecting, traveling (even if it’s planning trips to take as and adult by learning about places of interest to you), podcasting, learn a language, volunteer.
Why do I bring this up now?
As I talked about last week, vacation is a perfect time for reflection and to remake yourself.
Develop a new skill and make it into a hobby with this time off. Next year you’ll have something to look forward to or engage in when things don’t go your way or social options are limited.