Heather Gay, Real Housewife, “Bad Mormon,” and faith deconstruction trailblazer, joined us to talk about her journey from devout church girl to outspoken survivor. She shares what made Mormonism so magnetic, how family, secrets, and ritual shaped her upbringing, and the pivotal moments that cracked her certainty wide open, including appearing on past ALBC guest Dr. John Dehlin’s Mormon Stories Podcast. 

From endowment ceremonies and culinary faux pas to finding her voice outside the fold, Heather dishes on the unique mix of pressure, community, and hope that comes with leaving a high-demand religion. This first part of our conversation’s raw, real, and unexpectedly relatable—even if you’ve never worn sacred garments, tried to appease your bishop, or “woken up” because of a frozen burrito.

Follow Heather on Instagram and Facebook, pick up her memoir, Bad Mormon, and catch Surviving Mormonism on Peacock or Bravo.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We dive even deeper in Part two with Ellen Huet to unpack what drove OneTaste’s inner circle, its culty sales playbook, and the strange tangle of power, personal growth, and manipulation. Ellen reveals the hidden pressures—financial, sexual, emotional—that kept members tied to the group (and often hemorrhaging money), and explains how buzzwords like “aversion practice,” “getting off on any stroke,” and “rapidly changing reality” were really tools for bulldozing boundaries and controlling thought. Our conversation traces OneTaste’s journey from wellness trend to federal courtroom, busts modern myths about female-led groups, and highlights why charismatic leadership is always more about the follower than the figurehead. 

Plus: surprising cult parallels with AI, why new spiritual movements are getting more digital (and more female-fronted), and how lessons from OneTaste can help us spot red flags in even the most unexpected places. If you care about consent, community, or why smart people fall for shiny promises, this is essential listening.

For more on Ellen’s exploration of OneTaste, read her book, Empire of Orgasm: Sex, Power, and the Downfall of a Wellness Cult. Also, follow her on Instagram, X, or Bluesky.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.

What happens when the pursuit of female pleasure blurs into high-pressure sales, psychological control, and a federal criminal trial? In this two-part episode, we’re joined by journalist Ellen Huet for a candid dive into the rise and fall of OneTaste and the controversial practice of orgasmic meditation. Ellen unpacks how a wellness company promising sexual healing and empowerment became a high-control, high-demand group, luring seekers with mindfulness and “goalless” pleasure, then pushing boundaries, demanding loyalty, and turning taboo into currency. 

We covered OneTaste’s celebrity endorsements, culty sales tactics, the “bait-and-switch” of so-called sexual liberation, and the subtle ways a quest for growth can lead to manipulation. Ellen also shared the behind-the-scenes story of her reporting: from her first incredulous meetings through years of deep-dive investigation, to witnessing the courtroom drama firsthand. If you thought you understood “sex cults,” this conversation will bend your notions, shift your Overton window, and leave you thinking twice about what empowerment really means. Stay tuned for part two, where legal fireworks and even wilder revelations take center stage.

Be sure to read Ellen’s book, Empire of Orgasm: Sex, Power, and the Downfall of a Wellness Cult, and follow her on Instagram, X, or Bluesky.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:

This month, don’t wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend, or reaching out to a therapist yourself, Betterhelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/culty.

Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CULTY at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.

Calm your mind, change your life. Calm has an exclusive offer just for listeners of our show–

get 40% off a Calm Premium Subscription at calm.com/culty. This is an amazing value. Go to calm.com/culty for 40% off unlimited access to Calm’s entire library. And tell Calm you heard about them from us!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What actually happens when the world doesn’t end, the “shelf” breaks, and the self-proclaimed prince of a doomsday empire is left standing amid the fallout? In this powerful follow-up, Sean Prophet takes us through the final years of apocalyptic shelter drills, shattered prophecies, and how an edict about near-beer triggered a total loss of faith in his mother’s spiritual authority at the Church Universal & Triumphant (CUT). Sean shared how leaving wasn’t a single dramatic leap but a slow unraveling—pushed by impossible hierarchies, small acts of rebellion, and the radical idea that you get to decide how to live your life. 

Our conversation explores the difference between healthy community and destructive control, why smart people are NOT immune to cult influence, and the hard-won wisdom that it’s okay—vital, even—to put yourself at the center of your own story, but not the center of the universe. If you’ve wondered about post-cult identity, healing family rifts, or how to build meaning without myths or messiahs, this episode delivers straight talk, survivor insight, and existential laughs along the way.

Be sure to pick up Sean’s memoir, My Cult, Your Cult, and follow him on Substack.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What’s it like to grow up the so-called “prince” inside one of America’s most notorious new religious movements—where your mother is a celebrated channeler, your father founds a church, and the end of the world is just another family discussion over dinner? In the first of this two-part episode, we’re joined by Sean Prophet, author of My Cult, Your Cult, for a deep dive into the strange realities of life inside the Church Universal and Triumphant (CUT).

Sean unpacks his childhood in sprawling mansions turned cult compounds, the roots of the group’s “ascended master” theology, the peril and privilege of being born to leadership, and why spiritual bootcamp so often blurs into psychological abuse. We tackled the insidious dangers of purity culture, the mind-bending logic of channeling, and the very fuzzy line between a “cult” and a “mainstream religion.” Expect anecdotes about bunker-building, guru-devotion, apocalyptic drama, and real lessons on power, othering, and reclaiming your own critical thinking. You’ll want to stay tuned for part two and follow Sean Prophet on Substack.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:

Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to joinbilt.com/culty. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when your purpose gets weaponized, relationships are rewritten by group doctrine, and chess becomes both sanctuary and battleground? In this powerful second part of our convo with Danny Rensch, we return to unpack life after his “purpose ordainment,” and the heartbreak of being separated from his mother by cult coercion. 

With raw honesty, Danny shares how spiritual manipulation, covert contracts, and collective pressure led to the deepest trauma of his youth and how healing and reconnection became possible, despite loss and pain. We chat about his wild chess tournament sagas, the story of Igor (the inappropriate Russian master with a soft spot for broken kids), and the unraveling of the Church of Immortal Consciousness as generations, money, and ideals collided. Danny gets real about calling things what they are, facing the dark side of “doing good,” and why his redemption arc is proof that you are not what happens to you—you are what you choose to become. 

We also drop a secret character from his book who collided with NXIVM. File this one under: complex, courageous, and essential listening.

Fill in the gaps in our convo and read Danny’s gripping memoir, Dark Squares: How Chess Saved My Life. Also, follow him on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, X, and LinkedIn.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.

How do you go from barefoot kid to international chess master and co-founder of Chess.com? In this epic first installment, we sat with Danny Rensch to peel back the curtain on his wild journey growing up in the Church of Immortal Consciousness—a high-control Arizona collective commune led by a self-proclaimed trance medium guided by the spirit of "Dr. Duran." Danny shares what life was like growing up in a merged-finances, communal-living environment fueled by spiritual teachings, EST-style group processing, and just enough bathwater-sharing to make any outsider's eyebrows shoot up. 

From childhood freedom and chaos to early red flags, shifting loyalties, and the beginnings of his path out via chess, Danny’s story is a rollercoaster of agency, paradox, and hope. Expect deep dives into cult philosophy, spiritual skepticism, the lure of community, and how genius can bloom in the strangest soil—all before we even get to the chess part. Come for the cult tale and stay for the cliffhanger: part two is a pawn move away.

Whether or not you play chess you MUST check out Danny’s memoir, Dark Squares: How Chess Saved My Life. Also, follow him on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, X, and LinkedIn.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:

This month, don’t wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend, or reaching out to a therapist yourself, Betterhelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/culty.

Knock out all your holiday gifting needs today with MeUndies. To get exclusive holiday deals up to 50% off, go to MeUndies.com/culty and enter promo code culty.

Take advantage of this exclusive offer: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungryroot.com/culty and use code culty.

Don’t let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CULTY at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you actually stop fawning, and what does healing look like in real life? In Part 2 of our convo with Dr. Ingrid Clayton, we dove into boundaries, agency, and what it really takes to step out of survival mode. Ingrid shared her go-to body-based tools—like orienting with the senses, making nature your therapist, building a “pillow palace” like Sarah’s, and giving yourself full permission to take up space. 

Expect honest stories about parenting and relationships as radical acts of autonomy, plus some real-talk on microdosing mushrooms, nervous system hacks, and learning to say what you actually feel. If you’ve ever felt lost in people-pleasing or longed to reclaim your voice, this episode offers wisdom, compassion, and bite-sized practices to help you trust yourself and move toward genuine self-acceptance.

Pick up Ingrid’s book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back. Also follow her on Instagram and Substack @IngridClaytonPhd or visit her website at IngridClayton.com.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the thing you’ve been calling “people-pleasing” is actually your nervous system doing a full-blown survival routine? In this episode, we welcomed Dr. Ingrid Clayton, clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author of Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back. Part memoir, part emotional mic-drop, Ingrid’s work reframes “fawning” as a deeply human, body-based response—not a character flaw—and helps us see how our most selfless instincts can actually mask self-abandonment. We unpacked the messy truth about over-apologizing, over-functioning, and why some of us can’t bring ourselves to hit “unsubscribe.” From survival to healing to what it really means to reclaim your autonomy, Ingrid’s insights hit right in the gut (and somehow also feel like a hug). Welcome to Fawn Star Academy! Class is in session.

Be sure to pick up Ingrid’s book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back. Also follow her on Instagram and Substack @IngridClaytonPhd or visit her website at IngridClayton.com.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:

Whether you’re chasing deeper sleep, better focus, or just some peace between your streaming marathons—this is how adults get elevated now. If you’re 21 or older, now’s your chance to float above the stress—because IndaCloud is giving all new customers 25% off their first order plus free shipping. Just use code CULTY at indacloud.co or click this link to claim your discount.

Calm your mind, change your life. Calm has an exclusive offer just for listeners of our show–

get 40% off a Calm Premium Subscription at calm.com/culty.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Think cult scandal is just a modern phenomenon? Think again. In Part 2, historian Joshua Paddison unpacks America’s original sex cult, Fountain Grove—complete with group bathing, soulmate mysticism, financial abuse, and a scandal that turned “cult” from a neutral word into a headline-grabbing accusation. Josh guides us through all the weirdness: the rise and fall of Thomas Lake Harris, survivor red flags, bitter public smear campaigns, historical cover-ups, and the jaw-dropping parallels between 1890s California communes and today’s cult headlines. Plus: why California became cult central, how cult terminology shapes survivor stories, and what historians wrestle with when labeling new religious movements. This one’s got epic takedowns, wild twists, and enough historical intrigue to keep you curious for days.

Be sure to nerd out on Josh’s book, Unholy Sensations: A Story of Sex, Scandal, and California's First Cult Scare.

Also…let it be known that:

The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book here

Check out our amazing sponsors

Join A Little Bit Culty on Patreon

Get poppin’ fresh ALBC Swag

Support the pod and smash this link

Check out our cult awareness and recovery resources

Watch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, Scarred

CREDITS: 

Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames

Production Partner: Citizens of Sound

Co-Creator: Jess Tardy

Audio production: Will Retherford

Production Coordinator: Lesli Dinsmore

Writer: Sandra Nomoto

Social media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke Keane

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.