The Pun Jab number 115 gets the week underway with some puns, gags and jokes on duvets, dwarves and cliffhangers...

When I die, I'd like the word "humble" to be carved on my mausoleum.

My wife just said that quilts are better than duvets. I told her that she should be careful making blanket statements like that.

Yesterday I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought it a little con descending. 

A man went to hospital after swallowing three horses. His condition is stable.

I'm terrified of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.

You know what they say about cliffhangers...