A poem from the heart...that only I understand.

-by Benjamin P. Hawkins (Written: 03/12/2022)

I feel...horrible.

But not for the right reasons.

The Winter Treasons.

The Spring Schemings

The Summer Shearings

And

The Autumn Fall.

Damn. Damn it all. 

The shadows. The penance and curse.

The memories. The doubt. 

The guessing after first.

Mistakes. Mistakes.

A vampire thirst. 

Quenches the days of old and bad. 

The shifted tides and changing land.

I think I'm different than I once was. When I shattered and broke the curio of doves. 

I hope I am. I hope it is.

Not a phantom come to seek vengeance again.

But if it is. I know that I deserve it.

For the dark in the heart of the wandering servant. 

Crawls and claws

Scratching and tearing

At the eyes of the mask

That he is now wearing.

I bear this fate with open arms.

Accepting & Knowing.

I have done harm.

But I hope, this feeling fades.

So for my punishment to soon abate.

For a time at least...until it returns.

In the night with a cause.

And a soul to burn.