The analogy of “seeing a hole or going into it” is a great way of assessing the difference between compassion and empathy. Being compassionate is about observing, acknowledging, and sharing someone’s feelings without “getting in the hole with them” since one of you needs to be outside in order to be of actual help. Susan explains in this episode how to achieve compassionate relationships fostering curiosity and learning to avoid judgment.

 

Fieldwork this week: Evaluate which sharing feelings you are engaging in when others present challenges. First: Are you staying “out of the hole”? Make sure you are not standing in a place of pity but rather in a compassionate one. Second: Are you judging them for getting “in the hole”? If so, you are in a place of pity, it is time to start getting curious. Third: Are you finding yourself worrying? You might be practicing empathy or sympathy then: try to share feelings but be the one who will help them exit “from the hole”. Seek to be an assistant, be curious, listen, and make them safe.

 

Have a question for me? Email me: [email protected]

 

My mission is to make work fun again by building better leaders. Find out more on my website: shawnacorden.com

 

Mentioned in today’s episode:

Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results, Judith E. Glassier

 

Tweetables

“Curiosity is the opposite of judgment.”

“Letting people think out loud creates clarity.”

“A Self Aware leader knows the impact of his/her  actions on others and seeks to understand what his/her staff is going through.”

“Burnout: When demands are exceeding capacity.”