A Star to Steer Her By

Picard isn't exactly setting the world on fire as Season 2 slogs on with "Assimilation". Elnor dies and only Raffi cares as our not-so-intrepid crew heads back to 2024 because why have sci-fi allegory when you can just point at the (more-or-less) present and say "this is bad"? We also get to spend some time with our new Borg Queen, who has the misfortune of having to spend time with Agnes.

Also this week: getting Chekov'd, more Back to the Future than you'd expect, and a Zefram tangent!

[Assimilation: 00:43]

[Our BttF2 episode: https://soundcloud.com/sshbpodcast/ten-forward-32-back-to-the-future-part-ii ]

It's time for "Penance", Jean-Luc, though Q is being very vague as to what for. Join us in the Not-Mirror Universe where everything is fascist! Meet some familiar faces (with and without skin!) twisted by a single change in time. But what could it have been?! An unlikely source will reveal the truth!

Also this week: dropping names, distant space year 2024, and Qpool!

[Penance: 01:43]

It's time for the start of Season 2 with "The Star Gazer"! We open with a bang and then jump back to Picard deciding not to bang, which summons Q for some reason! Thrill as we get the band back together immediately after breaking it up! Sit in awe as we learn how to pronounce a major character's name a full season on! Roll your eyes at a really stupid explanation for how an immortal aged!

Also this week: newsie rizz, 7 gettin' Worfed, and Aaron Sorkin corner!

[The Star Gazer: 00:38]

Prepare yourself for the epic conclusion to Season 1 of "Star Trek: Picard" in "Et In Arcadio Ego, Part 2"! Charge up for the excitement that's been building all season to be unleashed in a torrent of payoff! Will any of it land, or will it all just kind of fizzle out in the face of an incredibly stupid magical gambit?

Also this week: RIP Picard, "Nemesis" apologies, and wrapping the season!

[EIAE2: 01:15]

[S.1 wrap: 53:27]

[Nothing more to see: https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/829198012943302656/picard-season-1-sheer-fucking-umbrage ]

We're in the homestretch of season one with "Et in Arcadia Ego, Pt. 1"! Come to the shoes-off homeworld of the synths, which it turns out is overseen by YET ANOTHER SOONG. Can't get away from these sociopaths no matter how hard we try. You also can't escape the fact that they love making transparently evil androids.

Also this week: they kind of remembered the storms, brainitis, mid "Mass Effect".

[EIAE1: 01:16]

We're speeding towards the end of season one in "Broken Pieces" and it's time for dramatic backstory reveals! Aren't you excited?! Hello? Anyone...? Don't you suddenly want to care about Narissa a bit more now that we know her backstory? No, you still think she's awful? OK, well, isn't it neat finding out why Rios is so messed up? What's that? You find it convenient how much it ties into the overall season plot? Hmm. Yeah, look, I got nothing, just enjoy some holograms.

Also this week: going to the office, everything's so tidy, and a massively wasted opportunity.

[Broken Pieces: 01:16]

60 years ago, "Star Trek" premiered. 10 years ago, the second-most-important "Star Trek"–related thing premiered. Yes, it's somehow been a DECADE of "A Star To Steer Her By"! We're flexing our usual anniversary fanfics to a whole new level by pitching entirely new series! With the future of the franchise very vague right now, we're stepping in to show the suits at Paramount how it's done!

Caitlin brings us an unexpected legacy sequel spun off from her favorite show! Chris goes traditional! Ames goes experimental! And Jake blows his chance to make something about the Iconians!

Thank you all for being with us all this time.

[Caitlin: 05:18]

[Chris: 17:38]

[Ames: 29:48]

[Jake: 55:16]

[Ames's Pitch: https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/827309305865863168/series-pitch-star-trek-relativity]

[Jake's Pitch: https://sshbpodcast.tumblr.com/post/827309468184395777/series-pitch-star-trek-concord]

The cracks are really showing this week in "Nepenthe". Character motivations, actions, and the location of props all just seem to exist because the writers need them to, and not because it feels natural or rational. But hey, ignore all that because Riker and Troi are here! And it's probably some of the best writing the entire franchise has given the poor woman. Unfortunately that is easy to miss since it appears alongside one of the most egregious just-for-shock-value moments in the series.

Also this week: Clint Frakes, a very convenient illness, and an even MORE convenient tag!

[Nepenthe: 01:35]

In "The Impossible Box", we go to the Borg cube, where Narek has a special puzzle box, which helps him wheedle out the mysteries hiding out in the metaphorical box that is Soji's mind. See what they did there? So more than 1/2 way through the series, Picard springs into action just in time for Soji to rescue herself from her idiot boyfriend, and ruins everything for Hugh just like he ruins everything he touches in this dang series.

Also this week: everyone's a manipulator, Geordi erasure, and the Roddenberry Dream!

[TIB: 01:16]

There's tonal whiplash and then there's the absolute disaster of a clustered mess that is "Stardust City Rag". It's a comedy heist, except we opened on some of the most needlessly explicit violence in the franchise's history! There's wacky accents and also Seven of Nine is in a REALLY dark place! Elnor is confused by the great big world and Raffi is going through a personal crisis! It's like they threw five scripts into a blender and hit purée.

Also this week: effort for nothing, killed by a hat, and Don Knotts!

[SCR: 02:21]