Episode 47: A story of forgiveness and the power it has [PODCAST]

Every person on the plant who is over the age of 5 years old has had a struggle with the issue of forgiveness. Don’t kid yourself, it’s hard to not hold things against others when they’ve done you wrong or have not followed through on what they’ve promised. On this episode of Crank It Up David T.S. Wood shares a personal story that’s just happened in his life, a story where he was done wrong and could have very legitimately held a grudge. But he made a commitment long ago that he would practice what he calls, “Immediate forgiveness,” so we couldn’t let himself go back on his own word to himself. The result of how that practice was part of changing a man’s life is what you’ll hear on this episode.

It was difficult for David to forgive his family.

The struggles, disappointments, and pains that come from the relationships you have with the people close to you are some of the most difficult to overcome. David T.S. Wood’s experience has been no different. David had some very deep seated hurts that came from his own family that were difficult to get past, but eventually, he was able to do so. Why is it so hard to get past the hurts that come from family? Because those are the relationships that have the most expectation built into them by default. You expect your parents and siblings to care for you. You expect that love will be the norm rather than anger and hate. You expect that home is a place you can be safe, and when those things are not true, the impact can be devastating. Hear David speak about his journeys in the land of forgiveness on this episode.

When a person does something to you that’s hurtful, what’s behind the scenes?

There are never excuses for the wrong or hurtful things that people do, but there are always reasons. When you’ve been wounded by someone it’s helpful on your part to ask the question, “What’s going in their life that would drive them to do something like this?” You’re not looking for reasons to excuse their behavior, you’re looking for ways to understand them – and there’s a world of difference between the two. When you’re able to see their pain – the pain that prompts them to behave toward you the way they have – you have the chance to find compassion for them rather than cast judgment, you have the opportunity to help them get to a better place rather than become an enemy. David’s got lots to say on this topic on this episode of the podcast.

How can we help people get across to the good side of life?

We are often hurt by people who are experiencing bad times or painful situations in their own lives. Their capacity is diminished because of the stresses or pains they’re enduring and others are hurt as a result. How can we help those people get to a better place, to come out of the hurt and into the light of healing? It won’t be by accusations and blame, even if they are warranted. It’s by understanding, kindness, and compassion. When they know that they are not alone they will be empowered to believe that they can move out of the dark place they’re in and find a life that is better. You can do that, through forgiveness. Hear more about it on this episode of Crank It Up.

But forgiveness also requires boundaries at times.

Forgiving a person doesn’t mean you welcome them back to have full access to your life just like they did before. You have to set proper boundaries – for your sake and for the sake of the person you’ve forgiven. Some would say it isn’t true forgiveness to put boundaries in place, but that is a wrong way of thinking. Boundaries are part of how that person learns appropriate behavior toward you and those around you, it’s one way you love them well, by making it possible for them to see a clear cut definition of what a healthy relationship looks like. Who are the people in your life you need to forgive? What would it look like if you did?

Outline of this great episode