Automation and globalization drive growth. But at what cost?

Companies are too good at using half baked algorithms and business process outsourcing firms to discourage us from contacting them. And short of retaining legal counsel – which is not economically feasible – there’s nothing you can do.

Got a problem with something you bought? Either let it go, or press 1 for sales, 2 for service, or 3 for technical support. And if those options don’t work, wait on hold for hours to beg a third world call center rep to escalate your case. Companies intentionally make it hard to get a hold of someone.

It’s the drill of dread. First, penetrate a computer or phone system that is controlled by shoddy artificial intelligence. If your problem doesn’t match one of the provided options – and pressing 0 to speak to an operator doesn’t work – you have to appease the algorithm and get sent to the wrong department just to talk to a real person. Now, you’ve got to break through their second line of defense. You’ve got to explain your issue to an outsourced, offshore call center rep with no authority. 

Companies use automation and outsourcing to lower costs. Just as algorithms can only solve simple problems, call center reps from far away places struggle to resolve issues for western customers. Explaining a problem to a call center rep who may be living in poverty without access to clean water is demeaning for the customer and rep alike. 

Here’s how bad the situation has become. Last year, when it looked like the pandemic was over, I used a travel search engine called KAYAK.com to buy flights to Italy on American Airlines. Then, Omicron surged and the Center for Disease Control issued a level 4 travel advisory warning Americans to avoid travel to Italy.

My family and I are fully vaccinated and boosted. But we’ve heard horror stories from friends who were vaxxed, got long-COVID or traveled and got stuck in expensive quarantine hotels. My wife’s friend in her early 50s is not overweight and has no health issues, but she still has equilibrium problems 8 months after getting COVID. And my cousin who’s in her late 20s and is the picture of health still has COVID fog brain 4 months after testing positive. Neither of them can exercise because of extreme shortness of breath. They both feel tired all the time.

For us it was an easy decision. The risk of gasping for air in an Italian hospital outweighed the reward of a Venetian gondola ride, which meant we had to either reschedule or cancel the trip. 

That’s when I realized we didn’t actually buy the tickets from KAYAK.com. And we didn’t buy them from American Airlines either. It turns out, KAYAK.com uses a company called ChatDeal to process transactions, and that’s who we had to contact.

ChatDeal offers customer support via online chat. But you’re not chatting with a person. At least not at first. You’re chatting with an algorithm. 

I entered my booking ID into the chat. And without even thinking about it, the chatbot responded “May I have your Booking ID, please?” I double checked and re-entered it. And it spit back the same question. System failure? Maybe I should have just gone on vacation? Now, instead of lounging by the infinity pool, I was stuck in an infinity chatbot loop. 

I was going to have to fail to phone. So I put on my warpaint, dialed the 800 number and waited patiently while my auditory cortex got pummeled by a hold music. Every few minutes a voice would apologize for “unusually long hold times.” But just as customer service has become an oxymoron, unusually long hold times have become doublespeak. War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Unusual is usual.

Finally,