A Warning: Don’t Depend on Reciprocated Love from Men

David W Palmer

(2 Corinthians 12:15 NKJV) “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.”

In this passage, between the lines of the apostle Paul’s writing, the Holy Spirit lays out a timely word of warning. 

As we know, God promises us amazing benefits and rewards for loving him and others; they are astounding and well worth it. Yet, we must remember that God is the source of these rewards and blessings—not the [human] recipients of our love. He does not guarantee that a benefit of loving others is that they will reciprocate the love we sow into them. 

For example, in the above passage, the apostle Paul said that the more abundantly he loved the Corinthian believers the less they loved him in return. We must understand, as we begin to practice the love of God towards others, that love is an altruistic giving of one’s self. Love serves other people, hoping for a positive response but not depending on receiving anything in return from them. God is the source and guarantee of the benefits of love; we should trustingly expect him to pour them on us as he promises; if, that is, we love him and others as he asks:

(Ephesians 6:8 NKJV) Knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

God’s love for the world and its people was completely expressed in Jesus; Father sent him to demonstrate God’s character, and then to die for the whole world’s reconciliation and blessing. The heavenly Father was, and still is, hoping for his love to be rewarded with a multitudinous harvest of new children. Yet his altruistic loving gesture towards them was reciprocated at the time by murder; but thankfully, this was not the response of everyone:

(John 19:25–26 NKJV) Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. {26} When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by … 

At the time of Jesus’s sacrificial death, the minority’s response was to accept Jesus just as his Father had dreamed; this was despite the initial rejection and assassination from the majority. Sadly, what we see in the two responses back then is the pattern for all time: a pure heart ignores its flesh, choosing rather to love him and worshipfully surrender to his lordship; but cruel murder is always the way flesh reacts to God’s love, and many acquiesce to its pernicious ways. 

In response to the mainstream rejection of his Son, God didn’t plummet into a spiral of despair and depressed regret; he used the very act of murder perpetrated against his most loving gesture, to be the very means of rescuing those who had committed it—if they would accept his death for them and the crucifixion of their flesh:

(Galatians 5:24 NKJV) And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Now, to the minority—who have crucified their flesh and laid down their lives to become his followers—Jesus says:

(John 15:12 NKJV) “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

Our Lord expects us to love like he does; he wants us to be a living billboard of his character and intent. Yet he warns us that this love may not be returned or appreciated by those for whom we lay down our lives. Of course this is hurtful; God knows this first hand, so he has again used that act of murder (Jesus’s crucifixion) to be the very means of our healing from the pain of rejection and abuse.

Even so, how do we keep exuding this Jesus-style love amidst the angst of painful rejection and hurtful threats? When we love others, we should only expect to receive love from God in return—not them. If they do reciprocate, that’s a bonus. Let’s continue to lay our lives down in service to others because we are devoted to, and filled to overflowing with, Jesus and his heart of love; but no