ometimes, I feel like I’m just waiting to have a life or really to feel like it is my own. When you are raised to please everyone, and assume your pleasure, in you, makes you selfish, self-absorbed, and a bad person; life kind of feels like a giant waiting room for the next person to come in for you to please and leave at their pleasure. When I look that left me, they  were so ordinary, for how extraordinary I made their exit. Moreover, their standards of accepting BS from others was way higher than for me, and that just triggered my low self-esteem. 

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