Alright, let's get this shit straight. You want to talk about the grand, holy crusade of the Republican party? The "pro-life" party? Give me a god damned break.

They are so incredibly, hypocritically "pro-life." But let's be real, the second that fetus takes its first breath, they don't give a flying fuck. Their concern has a nine-month expiration date.

What about the lives of the mothers and fathers, now saddled with a child they couldn't afford? What about the abused kids, born to parents who never wanted them? What about the orphans? The kids choking the foster care system? The poor?

Hello Pro-Lifers? Are you there?

Nope. Fucking crickets. Absolute goddamn silence.

Let's call this what it is: a goddamn power trip. All they give a single shit about is having control over female bodies they don't own, fetuses they didn't help create, and children they will absolutely, positively ignore once they're born into the world they supposedly cherish.

It begs the question, and I'm asking it seriously: why in the ever-loving fuck should a clump of cells have more rights than a living, breathing, thinking, and VOTING human being?

For nearly 50 years, we had a semblance of sanity. Remember Roe v. Wade? Back in 1973, the Supreme Court figured out that, yes, the Constitution protects a woman's freedom to choose to have an abortion without the government crawling up her ass.

Some woman named Norma McCorvey, known anonymously as "Jane Roe," had the audacity to challenge a Texas law that criminalized abortion. Bottom line? The court actually sided with her. They recognized her right to privacy. It was a landmark moment that legalized abortion and sparked a debate that, clearly, the absolute worst motherfuckers on earth have now won.

Because in June 2022, the new and "improved" Trump-stacked Supreme Court decided to just... torch the whole goddamn thing. In the Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization case, they yanked that constitutional right out from under us. The case was brought by the last abortion clinic in all of Mississippi, the "Pink House," which was trying to fight a ban on abortions after 15 weeks. They were defending the precedent set by Roe, and for their trouble, the Court decided to burn the whole thing down.

Now, your right to bodily autonomy is entirely dependent on your zip code. Fucking progress, am I right?.

So what's the radical right's REAL deal?

These asexual bitches will spew some bullshit about their deep moral and religious beliefs. They believe life begins at conception, and a fetus has the same rights as you or me. Their husbands just nod in agreement because they don't want to fuck up the obligatory once-a-year birthday sex.

Frankly, I believe there is no greater sin than to bring an unwanted child into this shitty, unforgiving world. They think I am the one who’s nuts.

But don't let their bullshit excuses fool you. You want to know the real reason they want to ban abortion? It’s not about God or families or demographics.

It's about serving the oligarchy.

Think about it. Who benefits from a desperate, struggling populace?

You get more poorly educated masses who are easier to fucking control, people who will blindly vote for whatever celebrity or strongman you prop up in front of them.

You get a permanent underclass, desperate for work, to do all the shitty jobs wealthy people don't want to do and aren't quite ready to hand over to a robot.

And best of all, the real fucking kicker: you get a steady supply of bodies to fill their private prisons, fight their bullshit wars, and pay the taxes that fund the government contracts that make their rich families even richer.

It's a goddamn scam. A cruel, cynical, motherfucking scam. By taking away legal abortion, they're not just taking away a choice. They're taking away women's health, their safety, their shot at an education or a career, and their economic freedom. They are actively making society a shittier, more miserable place, and they are doing it on fucking purpose.

So if your stupid “pro life” bumper sticker or license plate gets Sharpied out, fuck you and the umbilical cord you rode in in. Know that we’re on to your bullshit scam. You don’t give a shit about women or children. You’re a selfish, hypocritical asshole who full deserves the eternal hell you’re going to when you die.

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