For this week's episode, I'm going to talk about abortion and the Bible.  As I prepared to give this talk, just like I have prepared to give other talks on racism and on LGBTQ, it's difficult because it takes me a while to record and then re-record and then edit what I've recorded and then re-record again.

That circle has gone on a number of times, so I'm coming up with another solution and it's to grab little chunks of little bits and see what I get out of this.

So… this might be a twenty-piece. This might be a twenty-part series. Who knows? But here I am. Right? Here I am just trying to get this through, just trying to get this posted.

When I do interviews on my podcast, they're so easy. I'm so happy to just hear what someone's perspective is - just appreciate who they are and what they're sharing with me. There's the other part of me that knows that I have a platform and that I should use this platform to give the perspective that I have on racism and the church and LGBTQ and Christianity and Christians and prayer and on abortion and the Bible. When I do interviews, it's easier because. Well… there's somebody else carrying the water to be honest.

And then it's not a debate. It's a discussion and it's not a conversation to be won. It's a conversation to be enjoyed. I care about those that I interview. I would never have, you know, when you listen to some investigative reporters and they you're like ‘dog on a bone’, they're really dogged in on getting the truth out of somebody, but they're really aggressive. I appreciate the work that investigative reporters do, but that's not what I do. I just like to chat with people. And then in between the chats, there's these moments that I just know I need to speak and say my perspective. So, for this episode or a portion of this episode, I'm going to talk about myself.

 I was raised Roman Catholic. My mother and father came over -they are immigrants from Ireland and they it's a predominantly Catholic country.

And they came to New England. The state that I live in, Connecticut, that's a very Catholic state - as is, as is Rhode Island and Massachusetts. So, they came from, from that country to this country and the section of this country. I'm going to guess that most people who are listening, know that Catholics are pro-life. It's almost like, I think that it doesn't even need to be said, because I think everybody knows that.

But if you didn't know, Catholics are really pro-life.

My views changed when I was in my late twenties or early thirties, when I thought I was pregnant for the second time. I just couldn't do it. I had postpartum depression when I had my first child. I was really isolated. I had horrible sleep deprivation. I was suicidal. I had some hallucinations, which I think when people say those words out loud, you know, hallucinations, everybody just creeps away from them. For anybody who's struggled with sleep deprivation that was so bad that they wished they could die from sleep deprivation just so that the pain could stop, you're probably going to have some hallucinations.

So here I was, just barely surviving when I had my first child. When I thought I was pregnant the second time, I just didn't know; I was just so overwhelmed. You know when you're a new mom and you're struggling and you're suffering in this intense, debilitating illness, who do you turn to? You're really isolated. You feel embarrassed and you feel fearful that they could lock you up against your will or they could take your child away. During that time, I clung to one person, it was like I was drowning in the ocean and I clung to another, which in itself was life-giving, and it created an overdependence.

 

Back then, and now, we don't know how to help others in this level of pain.

 

So I thought I was pregnant and I thought, I hope I can live through this. I hope I can live through this nine month and give birth, but I don't know if I can do any more than that. This is all I got.

 I wasn't preg