In her yellow dress she is the sun travelling a crimson line to setting, and wherever she turned her rays blinked back her brilliance, like diamond winks off of sun-dappled water, water as a river, as a rushing, noisome thing, water as a river forking around her: one left, one right, each churning with a sameness of sound, “Mrs. Raft!”, “Mrs. Raft over here!”, “Look over here please Mrs. Raft!”, “How ‘bout a picture Mrs. Raft!?”, “Can you sign this please, Ms. Raft?” She let the river run and dapple, beaming as she continued down the crimson path. She paused her motion a moment when the rushing churn from the left fork asked, “Mrs. Raft, can you say something about your new podcast: Celeb News Ride Home, that’s available every weekday at 5pm(ET) on all major podcasting platforms?”

“Why yes, I would love to say something about my brand new podcast: Celeb News Ride Home, that’s available every weekday at 5pm(ET) on all major podcasting platforms,” Said Mrs. Raft, “and that is to say..make sure you tune in!” And with this spoken accompanied with a scintillating wink, Mrs. Raft dipped below the horizon and out of sight into the dusky black of an idling limousine. Across from her in the limo sat her husband Jack. Mrs. Raft slumped into the heated leather with a contented sigh, “Fame is a prison..”

Jack rolled his eyes, “Well Cait not all of us are fortunate enough to have a new podcast called Celeb News Ride Home, that’s available every weekday at 5pm(ET) on all major podcasting platforms...”

Cait ripped off her sunglasses, and glared at Jack, “What is your problem with my new podcast called Celeb News Ride Home, that’s available every weekday at 5pm(ET) on all major podcasting platforms?” Asked Cait.

“I don’t have a problem with Celeb News Ride Home...” Jack said,

“Available every weekday at 5pm(ET) on all major podcasting platforms “' added Cait.

“Right..” Said Jack, “I know the show is a perfect distillation of daily celebrity news and gossip delivered by a magnetic and engaging host in convenient bite-sized chunks for those at home, on the go, or in their car, it’s just...I guess i’m just worried about JackAm, y’know... *our* thing..”

“Jack seriously? You think i’m going to skimp out on JackAM, how long have you known me?”

“I-I-I-I...”, Jack tried desperately to get his intended words out, “I-I-....skibbity” As soon as the word slipped out, Jack clamped his shaking hands over his mouth, eyes even wider than before. Cait swore, terror fueling the mad fury of her thumbs as they danced up and down on the screen of her phone, “Dr. Richards..Dr. Richards..Dr. Richards..” she chanted over and over as she scrolled through contacts, “Got him!...Yes, hello? Doctor?”

Ah-skibbity-be-bop-ba-da-da-do!”, burst the filth from the depths of Jacks throat.

“....Yes that’s Jack, can we come now it’s an emergency!” Cait asked frantic and close to tears. ”...We can? Oh thank you Doctor! “ Cait got the limo driver's attention and informed him of their new destination and urgent pace. “Just hold on Jack,” She said to her man. “Just hold on my love...”

“Skippity-be-bop-ba-da-da-do-bop-ba-da-da-be-bop-baaa!”, was Jack’s only reply as they paid their inertial debt to the limousine owed for it’s sudden, illegal U-turn....

Topics Discussed on Today’s Show Include:

Celeb News Ride Home!, Cait Accomplished Creator(CA), Dabby Warbucks, Scatman Jack, Who’s running: Buttigieg’s Bad Weekend & Biden’s Bad Brain, Hillary & Her Goons and QuibiAM!

Episode originally aired live on Twitch on Monday 12/09/19 - VOD link for this episode here:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/519207858

SUBSCRIBE TO CELEB NEWS RIDE HOME PODCAST! AVAILABLE ON ALL MAJOR PODCASTING PLATFORMS: https://www.ridehome.info/podcast/celeb-news-ride-home/

Buy JackAM merch: https://jackam.tv/shop/

Donate to JackAM!: https://streamelements.com/jackam/tip