Strap in for an idiots’ guide to the Sovereign Grant report from your resident royal-watching idiots — we’re talking Air Miles Andy’s private jaunt for a golf championship, a £1m refurb for the Duke of Gloucester (who?) and the Queen’s lonely little train. Plus, is she getting a government bailout or not? Elsewhere, Prince Harry’s comments about voting spark uproar, Meghan Markle wears leather trousers and Kate Middleton claims a dubious “win” over Tatler magazine.