We all know Rooney has had a nightmare of a week, but it's been a dream for a footballing Unicorn and another big footballing name will be getting a lie in this week. We find out why, or at least that was what the intention was when we started. Plus drink drving, Harry Redknapp, Birmingham City, Stella Artois, Koeman, Hodgson, Kelly Brook, Paddy Power and Ugo Ehiogu.

On The Left Side is written and produced by Ant McGinley and Jim Salveson for Abrupt Audio. The theme tune "National Hero" is written and performed by Katalina Kicks and appears with their kind permission. Incidental music courtesy of Bensound.com and sfx from www.freesfx.co.uk