Family.

For so many people, family matters a great deal. But, it's not always good or bad. And, it's definitely not black and white either. When you're in recovery, you need to be very aware of the role family plays in your ongoing sobriety.

Join us for Episode 004 of the Addiction Radio Podcast where we discuss how and what to do with the good and the not-so-good. It's an important listen so let's dive right in!

Show Notes

Dealing with family and addiction can often be one the most complicated pieces to your recovery. Your family  has likely had a huge impact on your addiction and recovery both good and bad. While for some of you - your family may have been the cause of your addiction, others may have family who are there and rooting for your success. Most of you likely have family on both sides of the spectrum. We’re going to talk about how we recognize you don’t get to choose your family - and therefore there are different approaches to those who are supporting you through this process and those who may be hindering your success. I’ll talk about when to walk away, how to regain your family’s trust and what it takes to work towards healthier relationships. Let’s get started.

You don’t get to choose your family

So the title of the course says a lot - you don’t have a choice on who your family is. You don’t get to pick and choose who you’re related to or what family you belong. With that being said, you do need to recognize the different approaches you may take with each and every family member you have.

There’s a specific bond that most people have with certain family members - these bonds are unique in that even when the relationships are put through the wringer the desire to repair and continue a strong healthy relationship is always there.

You may not know where each family member stands and there will be a lot of gray areas as you start to think about your family but just know that while you are taking care of yourself, you might need to make some hard choices in order to protect your sobriety. These choices can range from taking a break from toxic family members to owning up to your mistakes with those who love and support you - neither are easy.

Let’s talk now about how to recognise a good family member.

How to recognise good family

Recognizing good family can often be clouded. Maybe while you were addicted your family cut you off or didn’t agree to enable. That doesn’t mean that their love for you was any less - it just means that their love was so strong that they couldn’t continue to watch your destructiveness.

What I want you to do today, is to make a list of family members who have been there for you through all this - emotionally, physcally, etc. Don’t confuse this though with not enabling. This should be a list of those who you want to make amends with, those who you know would be there for you through thick and thin.

Once you’ve made this list, start working on repairng relationships. The easiest way to start the conversation is to send a text - let them know that you appreciate everything they’ve ever done for you and if they know about your addiction you can let them know that you’re working hard on your recovery. From there - see where the conversations take you.

It won’t be easy but it’s a start. You do have to be prepared for people to be suspicious of your trust and that’s okay! Repairing relationships doesn’t happen over night. Some family members may want to see you in action - and this takes time. For now, just send the text.

How to recognise toxicity

We talked about good family members and now we need to talk about those who are “not so good” and when I say not so good I’m talking about not so good for you. Not saying they’re not good people because that would a little disingenuous for me to pre...