ADHD Case Files

When something gets forgotten, does it feel like a mistake—or proof that you don’t matter?

In this episode of ADHD Case Files, Chris Steindorf sits down with certified divorce coach and ordained pastor Becky Swanson to investigate the misunderstandings that can build inside a relationship. Drawing from her own divorce and her work supporting women, Becky shares her perspective on emotional burnout, unequal responsibilities, co-parenting, and rebuilding your identity.

Together, they explore what happens when childhood labels follow you into marriage, why an outside perspective can reveal patterns you’ve missed, and how to make decisions with your future in mind.

● When forgetfulness feels personal: How missed commitments can become tangled with hurt, frustration, and questions about whether a partner cares.

● The weight of managing everything: Becky shares what she hears from women who feel responsible for organizing the household and carrying its emotional load.

● The childhood labels we bring into relationships: How old beliefs about being difficult, incapable, or disappointing can shape how we see ourselves and interpret conflict.

● Parenting after separation: Becky discusses co-parenting, parallel parenting, and the importance of intentional boundaries.

● Deciding who you want to become: Why Becky asks clients to picture their lives two to five years after divorce—and use that picture to guide decisions today.

3 Key Takeaways

1. Investigate the meaning behind the conflict. One partner may experience a forgotten task as rejection, while the other experiences it differently. Understanding that gap creates a starting point for a more honest conversation.

2. An outside perspective can reveal patterns you cannot see alone. Becky and Chris discuss how trusted support can help you examine your own contribution to recurring problems.

3. Let your desired future guide your next decision. Becky encourages clients to consider the peace, security, relationships, and family life they want beyond the immediate conflict.

“You can’t read the ingredients from inside the jar.”

—Becky Swanson

Connect With Becky

Email: [email protected]

Podcast mentioned in this conversation: Oh Shit, I’m Getting Divorced.

Contact Becky for current information about her Before You Divorce masterclass.

Continue Your Investigation

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 https://adhdcasefiles.com/ebook-5545

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Stop guessing. Start investigating.

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

1. The experience behind the 15-Minute Pity Party Pivot. Helen shares how her son’s devastating accident, nearly six months in a burn center, and 42 surgeries inspired a practice for acknowledging pain and finding a way forward.
2. Allow the feelings, then redirect your attention. Their timer gave frustration a place to be expressed. Afterward, they identified something to be grateful for and focused on the next achievable action.
3. A late diagnosis can change how you understand your past. You and Helen explore the relief of recognizing that years of struggle don’t prove you’re unintelligent or incapable—and how that understanding opens an investigation into what works for you.
4. Prepare for setbacks and make the next step smaller. Through athletics, business, and her son’s skydiving experience, Helen illustrates how practicing recovery from mistakes and breaking goals into manageable actions supports progress.
5. Protect your energy and give yourself grace. The conversation explores taking on other people’s problems, experimenting with personal support strategies, and allowing yourself to learn without constant self-criticism.

3 Takeaways

1. Try a structured emotional pause. Borrow Helen’s practice: acknowledge what’s difficult, then identify one thing you appreciate and one action within your control. The timer is a tool, not a deadline for resolving pain.
2. Shrink the starting point. When a task feels overwhelming, ask: “What is the smallest step I can take right now?”
3. Check whose problem you’re carrying. Before stepping in, ask: “Is this mine to address—and has this person asked for my help?”

“You can have 15 minutes every morning. … But we literally set a timer. And at the end of the timer, we said, ‘Okay, that’s it. We got to get on with our day.’”

— Helen Connors Groom

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

1- A struggle should not automatically become an identity

One of the clearest themes is the difference between recognizing where someone is struggling and defining the person by that struggle.

Coach T talks about her son’s stuttering and her daughter’s difficulties in school. Her approach was essentially: investigate what’s happening, provide support, but don’t teach the child that the difficulty defines who they are.

That fits beautifully with your ADHD Detective concept: observe the evidence without confusing the evidence with the identity.

2- Parents have enormous power over which voices their children internalize

Coach T repeatedly returns to planting seeds.

Before school, her children repeated Scripture and affirmations about who they were. She wasn’t waiting until somebody damaged their confidence and then trying to repair it. She was deliberately helping establish an internal belief system first.

That produced one of the strongest ideas of the episode:

If the world is going to give your children labels, make sure they already know who they are.

3- Advocacy requires curiosity—not blindly accepting authority

Both of you share stories about educators making assumptions about your children.

The useful lesson isn’t that educators are the enemy. It’s that parents need to remain engaged, ask questions, seek appropriate evaluation when concerns arise, and understand what’s actually happening rather than automatically accepting—or rejecting—a label.

Coach T summed up her philosophy simply:

“You are your kids’ advocate.”

4- The labels we receive as children can become the voice we use against ourselves as adults

This is where the interview moves beyond parenting and becomes particularly relevant to late-diagnosed adults.

You describe how someone can hear something about themselves early in life, internalize it, and then spend years noticing evidence that seems to confirm it.

Coach T then connects that to self-talk: eventually, other people don’t even need to repeat the label because we’ve learned to repeat it ourselves.

That is one of the deepest themes in this episode.

5- You can rewrite the story without pretending the past didn’t happen

Coach T’s two-letter exercise is probably the most immediately actionable piece of the episode.

Write one letter to your past self:

This is what I carried. This is what I believed. This is what no longer gets to control me.

Then write another describing who you’re becoming.

That leads directly into her philosophy of not merely “bouncing back,” but building forward.

3 Key Takeaways

1. Question the label before you build an identity around it.
A diagnosis, learning difference, mistake, setback, or another person’s judgment can provide information. It doesn’t automatically tell you what you’re capable of becoming.

2. What gets repeated internally matters.
Coach T intentionally gave her children language about capability, faith and identity. As adults, we can also examine the language we’ve been repeating to ourselves and decide whether it is accurate or useful.

3. You can become an active author of what comes next.
The past remains part of the case file, but it doesn’t have to dictate the conclusion. Coach T’s message is about acknowledging what happened, deciding what you believe now, and taking deliberate action toward who you’re becoming.

“You have to plant the seed for your kid, because if you don’t plant the seed, somebody else is going to sow a seed that is not good for your kids.”

 — Coach T

Linkedin:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanea-montgomery-33132739?utm_source=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=member_ios

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/coachtthenp?stkn=Nmd2MmwzMDdhNjVp&utm_source=qr

Coach T’s 30 Days of Empowerment: http://empowerment-strategi.vibepreview.com/

Serve From Overflow: http://a.co/d/06CuJpEx

Website: http://clinconfcoach.com/

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

In this episode of ADHD Case Files, Chris Steindorf sits down with educator, entrepreneur, and learning mentor Richelle Caubang to talk about what ADHD can actually look like in a learning environment—and why the behavior adults see may only be the first clue.

Richelle shares lessons from working directly with students who struggle with attention, starting assignments, completing work, remembering instructions, restlessness, overwhelm, and shutting down.

Together, Chris and Richelle explore the power of predictable structure, flexible pacing, breaking overwhelming tasks into smaller steps, movement breaks, repetition, immediate feedback, and recognizing effort rather than simply rewarding correct answers.

The conversation also becomes personal as Chris recognizes pieces of his own childhood in the students Richelle describes.

In this episode:

• Early ADHD-related behaviors adults may overlook
• Why struggling to begin isn’t necessarily laziness or defiance
• Structure vs. rigidity
• How “scaffolding” can support learning
• Why smaller tasks can reduce overwhelm
• Repetition, mastery, and frustration
• Immediate vs. delayed reinforcement
• Building confidence through evidence of progress
• The long-term impact of the stories children learn about themselves
• Why Richelle’s final recommendation comes down to one word: patience

From Richelle:

“The structure that we need to create should feel like a scaffold—a support, not a cage.”

“Shrink the task.”

“Patience… understanding them, being patient with them, is one of the huge things that you can do.”

Connect with Richelle Caubang:
MrsRichelle.com⁠

Contact: [email protected]

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Get the Free ADHD Detective’s Guide

Want to see the testing and nutritional approach Chris used as part of his own investigation?

The free ADHD Detective’s Guide goes deeper into the process and helps you begin asking a different question:

What have I been calling “just my ADHD” that might be worth investigating?

Download the Free ADHD Detective's Guide

Book an Investigative Interview

If something in this episode sounds familiar and you'd like to start connecting the dots in your own story, book an Investigative Interview with Chris using the calendar link below.

link.chrissteindorf.com/widget/bookings/schedule-your-discovery-call-n7qjjf

I don't have your actual calendar URL in this conversation, so I would not guess at it.

Why Blood Testing Got My Attention

One of the biggest shifts for me was moving from “How do I feel?” to “What can I actually measure?”

My first blood test showed an omega-6:omega-3 ratio of approximately 34:1. After following the nutritional approach discussed in my ebook, I retested at approximately 4:1, and a later test was closer to 3:1.

Those are my personal test results. They do not establish that changing my fatty-acid profile caused changes in my focus, energy, or brain fog.

But they gave me something I had never had before:

A baseline. A change I could measure. And a reason to keep investigating.

Something worth thinking about

You can feel tired.

You can experience brain fog.

You can struggle to concentrate.

You can assume it's ADHD.

But you cannot feel your blood fatty-acid levels.

That's one reason testing became so interesting to me.

Rather than asking only:

“How do I feel?”

I started asking:

“What does the data say?”

The Research Behind the Conversation

1. More Than 590,000 Blood Samples

A 2025 peer-reviewed study published in Lipids in Health and Disease analyzed more than 590,000 whole-blood dried blood spot samples from around the world.

The researchers reported substantial geographic variation and widespread suboptimal omega-3 status. Importantly for this episode, the researchers wrote:

of fatty-acid status and balance. 

Read the 2025 dried-blood-spot study

Why I included it: This supports one of the central ideas behind this episode:

Stop guessing. Start measuring.

It does not establish that a particular omega-6:3 ratio causes ADHD symptoms.

2. Omega-3 Blood Levels and ADHD

A 2014 meta-analysis examined nine studies involving 586 participants and found lower overall blood omega-3 levels in people with ADHD compared with controls. Its supplementation analysis included 16 studies and found modest symptom effects, though the evidence was primarily in children. 

Read the ADHD and omega-3 blood-level meta-analysis on PubMed

Another meta-analysis specifically examining omega-6:omega-3 ratios reported that children and youth with ADHD had higher blood n-6:n-3 and AA/EPA ratios than controls. 

Read the omega-6:omega-3 ratio and ADHD meta-analysis

Important: Association doesn't mean causation. These studies don't show that an omega imbalance causes ADHD.

3. What About Adults With ADHD?

This one caught my attention because I was diagnosed as an adult.

A systematic review and meta-analysis examining biochemical research in adults with ADHD found lower serum DHA—the omega-3 fatty acid docosahexaenoic acid—in adults with ADHD compared with controls. Other fatty acids examined, including EPA and arachidonic acid, were not significantly different. 

Read the adult ADHD systematic review on PubMed

Again, this shows an association, not proof that low DHA causes ADHD.

4. Does Taking Omega-3 Improve ADHD?

This is where the science gets interesting—and complicated.

A 2023 meta-analysis combined 22 randomized controlled trials involving 1,789 participants.

Overall, omega-3 supplementation did not significantly improve core ADHD symptoms compared with placebo.

However, when researchers separately analyzed studies lasting four months or longer, that subgroup showed statistically significant improvement. The researchers cautioned that the subgroup evidence had limitations. 

Read the 2023 randomized-trial meta-analysis on PubMed

Why include a study that didn't find an overall benefit?

Because I'm not interested in proving something I already believe.

I'm interested in investigating what's actually true.

5. Omega-6:Omega-3 Balance and Inflammation

A systematic review and meta-analysis of 31 randomized controlled trials investigated lower-ratio omega-6/omega-3 interventions.

Researchers found significant reductions in two inflammatory markers—TNF-alpha and IL-6—but did not find a significant reduction in CRP. 

Read the inflammation meta-analysis on PubMed

More recent research continues to show that this subject is complicated. A 2026 review of 96 clinical trials found EPA+DHA supplementation increased blood EPA+DHA and reported reductions in several inflammatory markers, particularly among participants with underlying health conditions. 

Read the 2026 EPA/DHA systematic review on PubMed

This does not mean that a high omega-6:3 ratio automatically means someone is “inflamed.”

The Question I Want You to Leave With

What have you been blaming on your ADHD without actually investigating it?

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

A mother watched her child get treated like a behavior problem, fought to understand what was actually happening, and eventually discovered that some of the very traits causing him problems were connected to remarkable abilities.

• When ADHD behavior is mistaken for bad behavior: Michelle describes her son’s experience beginning in kindergarten, including being disciplined and treated differently because his behavior didn’t fit classroom expectations.
• A mother becoming her child’s advocate: From requesting a different kindergarten teacher to challenging educators who weren’t following his 504 plan, Michelle explains why she refused to let the school define her son by his behavior.
• Their family’s experience with ADHD medication: Michelle discusses initially seeing improvement, subsequent dosage increases, and eventually deciding to discontinue medication after feeling that her energetic, curious son had become a “zombie.”
• Finding structure without crushing curiosity: Michelle explains how she used routines, stayed beside her children during difficult schoolwork, supported their interests, and learned that her children needed different approaches rather than simply more discipline.
• Seeing the abilities hiding behind the ADHD struggles: From unusually advanced language skills to musical talent that eventually took her children to Carnegie Hall, Michelle describes the intelligence, creativity, rapid connections, and hyperfocus she believes are too often overlooked.

3 Key Takeaways

1. Behavior is information.
A child who can’t sit still, repeatedly loses focus, or reacts differently isn’t automatically choosing to be difficult. Michelle’s story shows why understanding what’s driving a behavior can matter more than simply correcting it.

2. Accommodation and advocacy can change a child’s experience.
Michelle didn’t assume that every problem belonged to her son. She questioned whether his environment, teachers, expectations, and accommodations were actually working for him.

3. ADHD challenges and ADHD strengths can exist at the same time.
The same children who struggled with conventional school expectations demonstrated extraordinary abilities in other areas. The episode makes a strong case for investigating the whole person, rather than defining someone by the areas where they struggle.

“ADHD is not the end of the world. It’s actually the beginning of a new world.”
— Michelle Hoke

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

• The hidden problem of too many possibilities — how an ADHD brain can see potential everywhere, and why every opportunity doesn’t deserve your attention.
• The Four-Quadrant System — filtering decisions through four questions: How do I feel about it? What do I think about it? Does it match what I believe? Does it move me toward my ultimate goal?
• Excitement versus evidence — why something feeling exciting isn’t enough, and how to investigate the cost, commitment, risk, and potential return before saying yes.
• Why four yeses still don’t mean yes — learning to limit your major priorities and recognizing that adding something new may require removing something else.
• Following the evidence beyond ADHD — how the same investigative mindset led to new questions about brain fog, exhaustion, inconsistent focus, blood work, inflammation, and other factors that may contribute to symptoms.

3 Key Takeaways

1. Every yes has a cost.
Time, energy, attention, and focus are limited resources. Choosing one opportunity automatically means giving less of yourself to something else.

2. Good distractions may be harder to recognize than bad ideas.
Something can feel right, make logical sense, align with your values—and still not belong in your life right now if it doesn’t move you toward your primary goal.

3. An answer shouldn’t end the investigation.
An ADHD diagnosis can explain important parts of someone’s experience without necessarily explaining every symptom. Your transition into blood work and inflammation reinforces the idea of continuing to ask questions and look for evidence rather than making assumptions.

“I’m not interested in building a successful life that requires me to become someone I don’t respect.”

-Chris Steindorf

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

• How childhood ADHD experiences can become lifelong beliefs — DaLynn shares how an early school experience contributed to the belief that she was “dumb,” and how she eventually traced that identity back to its origin and began changing it. 
• Why structure creates freedom for the ADHD brain — From raising seven children to managing her own ADHD, DaLynn explains how schedules and predictability helped move her from constant chaos and fight-or-flight toward greater peace of mind. 
• Identifying and transforming limiting beliefs — DaLynn discusses how subconscious patterns can feel like permanent parts of our personality when they're actually learned responses—and why awareness is the first step toward changing them. 
• The connection between shame, self-talk, and identity — Chris and DaLynn explore the power of “I am” statements, the damage caused by repeatedly labeling ourselves negatively, and how compassionate self-talk can begin changing the internal narrative. 
• Practical tools for calming an overwhelmed ADHD mind — DaLynn shares strategies including routines, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, breath awareness, and using the five senses to get out of the mental “hamster wheel” and back into the present moment. 

3 Key Takeaways

1. A struggle can become a belief, and a belief can become an identity.
One of the most important distinctions in the episode is that something you learned to believe about yourself—even decades ago—doesn't necessarily describe who you actually are. DaLynn describes realizing that the belief “I was dumb” was connected to an early experience rather than objective evidence about her ability. 

2. You can't change a pattern you haven't learned to recognize.
DaLynn describes limiting beliefs as reactions that can become so automatic they feel like personality. Her message is that awareness gives you back choice: notice what repeatedly triggers you, identify the belief underneath it, and then begin working on that belief rather than simply fighting the behavior it produces. 

3. Working with an ADHD brain is more effective than constantly fighting it.
Structure, mindfulness, routines, and intentionally slowing down aren't about forcing an ADHD brain to become neurotypical. They're tools for creating an environment where the person can function with greater calm, focus, and control. DaLynn describes structure specifically as giving her back “peace of mind.”

 “Talk to yourself like you would someone you love.” 

— DaLynn Moore 

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

• Recognizing ADHD patterns without a formal diagnosis — Tami reflects on childhood activity, being known for talking too much, a mind that rarely shuts off, insomnia, hyper-focus, keeping countless computer tabs open, and recognizing similar patterns throughout her family.
• When adversity forces the brain into survival mode — Tami shares the deeply personal story of navigating more than 100 family-court hearings, losing access to her children, financial and emotional upheaval, and trying to function while her mind was racing under enormous stress.
• Finding peace when you can’t control the outcome — One of the episode’s strongest moments comes when Tami describes reaching the end of herself outside the courthouse and surrendering the situation to God. She explains how peace didn’t make the circumstances disappear—it allowed her to take the next step without falling apart.
• Turning hyperfocus and resilience into strengths — Instead of viewing every ADHD-like characteristic as a weakness, Tami discusses her ability to intensely focus on what matters, manage multiple responsibilities, pivot quickly, solve problems, and continually find another route forward.
• Turning lived experience into purpose — Tami explains how her experiences eventually became the foundation for the Legal System Warrior and her Warrior Success System—helping people facing legal battles and other high-adversity situations develop the internal resilience, clarity, financial awareness, and practical tools to move forward.

3 Key Takeaways

1. The same mind that can feel chaotic can become incredibly powerful when it has direction.
Tami’s story repeatedly shows the other side of traits commonly associated with ADHD: rapid thinking can become problem-solving, hyperfocus can become persistence, and constantly looking for another possibility can become adaptability.

2. Resilience isn’t pretending something doesn’t hurt. It’s developing the ability to keep moving while it does.
Tami doesn’t describe peace as everything suddenly becoming okay. She describes reaching a place where the circumstances were still terrible, but she could finally ask: Where do I go? What do I do? What’s the next step?

3. Your hardest experiences can become part of what qualifies you to serve someone else.
Near the end, Tami makes an important distinction: she isn’t teaching adversity from a textbook. She’s teaching from lived experience. Her story went from something she survived to something she can now use to help another person navigate their own crisis.

“I’m not just teaching you from a class. I’m teaching you from lived experience.”
— Tami Forster

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com

In Memory of Frederick Myron Smith

August 31, 2019 — Seven Years Later

“There is a point past the pain, gentlemen.”

Those were the words of one of my best friends, Frederick Myron Smith, while we trained together.

At the time, it sounded like something Myron would say to push us through another set in the gym. But looking back, I realize Myron wasn’t just teaching us how to lift weights. He was teaching us how to live.

Myron believed life could be unfair. It could be hard. It could hurt. But when you were in the gym and willing to push yourself beyond the point where your body told you to quit, you were practicing something much bigger than working out. You were learning how to keep going when life became painful.

Another phrase Myron believed deeply was:

“Iron sharpens iron.”

For Myron, that meant surrounding yourself with people who challenged you, strengthened you, and helped you become a better man. Around Chris, Dan, and me, it became something we lived. It was about mutual growth, faith, fellowship, accountability, and making each other better.

From the time we met Myron in 2015 until we lost him in 2019, our close group of friends became family. And that family included Myron’s wife, his two children, and his mother.

Myron’s entire life was a story of overcoming the odds.

He spent ten years in prison after taking the fall for a close friend he believed couldn’t handle the time. His original sentence was twenty years. While incarcerated, Myron studied law and ultimately earned his release after ten.

But Myron didn’t allow those years to define the rest of his life.

He attended Savannah State College and later graduated with honors from Rutgers University, finishing at the top of his class and delivering the commencement speech.

Think about that journey for a moment.

From a prison cell to standing in front of his graduating class giving the commencement address.

That was Myron.

Eventually, he accepted a job as an engineer in La Crosse, Wisconsin. And that’s how we were lucky enough to meet him.

Myron was stubborn. He was a “I’ll do it myself” kind of guy. I remember watching him in the gym when we first met, lifting some seriously heavy weight without a spotter—and nearly dropping it on his head.

Finally, I walked over and said, “Hey man, I can spot you.”

He was a little rough around the edges at first. But once we got to know each other, something changed.

We became brothers.

Myron and I worked out four times a week. We played basketball at 5:00 in the morning. We went to church together.

It became seven days a week of dedication, friendship, faith, and fellowship.

Iron sharpening iron.

Then came August 31, 2019.

Myron was murdered while trying to help his mother have a safe environment.

Seven years later, writing those words still hurts.

Our close group of friends flew to Savannah, Georgia, to pay our respects and say goodbye to our brother.

More than 400 people filled the church for Myron’s funeral. Our small group from Wisconsin stood out, but none of that mattered. We were simply there as Myron’s brothers, surrounded by hundreds of other people whose lives he had touched.

I was numb. So were the rest of us. There was so much pain that day that it was difficult to fully comprehend everything happening around us.

Then, unexpectedly, the pastor called us forward during the service and asked us to give Myron’s testimony.

My brother Chris stood before the church and gave a beautiful testimony about our dear friend.

I hate public speaking. Every part of me wanted to stay in that seat.

Then I looked toward the front row.

I saw Myron’s mother, Mrs. Smith, and Angel. I saw the devastation on their faces.

And I knew it had to be done.

Then Myron’s words came back to me:

“There is a point past the pain, gentlemen.”

So I stood up.

And I told them about our Myron.

I told them about the man we knew in Wisconsin. The man who worked. The man who studied. The man who prayed. The man who pushed us. The man who challenged us to become better men. The man who became our brother.

It wasn’t until much later that I fully understood what happened inside that church that day.

People in Georgia knew Myron through one chapter of his life. We had been blessed to know the man he became.

We were able to stand before his family, his friends, and his community and tell them the truth about who Myron was to us.

And in that moment, something changed.

An invisible barrier came down.

We weren’t Black or white. We weren’t people from Georgia or Wisconsin.

We were simply people who loved Myron Smith.

Even in death, Myron was still bringing people together.

He was still making a difference.

After Myron passed, Mrs. Smith would call me about once a month. I’ll never forget what she told me:

“Jason, what you all did by coming down to Georgia and giving my son’s testimony was the icing on the cake. It needed to happen. You all meant so much to my son, and he meant so much to all of you.”

She was right.

He did.

And he still does.

My final words that day, standing in front of my dear friend Myron, his family, and hundreds of people who loved him, came straight from my heart:

“Myron, you always said there was a point past the pain. But my friend, this is going to be hard for me to get past.”

Seven years have passed.

I’ve learned that maybe getting past the pain doesn’t mean leaving it behind. Maybe it means carrying forward what the person taught you.

The lessons.

The faith.

The fellowship.

The strength.

The love.

And the responsibility to sharpen the people around you just as they sharpened you.

Myron’s life was bigger than the way it ended.

His story was about redemption. Perseverance. Faith. Friendship. Family. And refusing to allow your past—or your pain—to determine your future.

Seven years later, I still hear his voice when life gets difficult:

“There is a point past the pain, gentlemen.”

I understand those words differently now.

Keep pushing.
Keep believing.
Keep helping the people around you become better.
And when life hurts more than you think you can handle, keep going.

Iron sharpens iron.

Rest easy, my brother.

Frederick Myron Smith
Forever loved. Forever remembered.
And still sharpening iron.

There's a Point Past the Pain

-Frederick Myron Smith ~aka Brother Pain

Chris Steindorf

[email protected]

Connect with Chris on your favorite social media platform

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chris.steindorf.2025

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-steindorf-89a5363a6/

For more information, go check out the ADHD Case Files website

https://adhdcasefiles.com